


Jung Yunho Is An Alien!

by ddelusionall



Category: DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band)
Genre: Aliens, Farmer Kim Jaejoong, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Jung Yunho has a Big Dick, Jung Yunho is a Sweetheart, Kim Jaejoong & Park Yoochun Are Best Friends, Lots of come, M/M, Magic dick, Memory Loss, Self-Lubrication, learning new things, omg i'm so glad i get to use that tag!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2021-02-24 00:00:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23833570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddelusionall/pseuds/ddelusionall
Summary: Jaejoong lives alone on a farm outside of a small city. It's a perfect existence. Normal. Routine. Feed the chickens. Feed the goats. Weed the garden. Of course that means something ... or someone ... needs to invade and throw everything off kilter. Though Jaejoong never thought that he'd ever have to ask himself if he really believed in aliens.
Relationships: Jung Yunho (DBSK)/Kim Jaejoong
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	1. Take Me To Your Leader

**Author's Note:**

> I am importing my stories from LiveJournal. The original fic can be found [here](http://be-ddelusionall.livejournal.com/).
> 
> I haven't read this story in a long time, so I may have missed some tags. Just let me know if I did.

Jaejoong woke up with a start. The loud noise echoed for a moment, and it took Jaejoong a few more moments to blink away sleep and realize that the noise had been wood snapping, creaking, and twisting.  
  
Shit. Had one of his goats gotten loose again?  
  
He flung the blankets off him and hurried from his room and into the living room. JiJi, his cat, was staring at the door, ears back, tail flicking madly. Hissing. Jaejoong swallowed. Maybe it wasn’t a goat. A mountain cat? Fuck, there were rumors, but Jaejoong had never heard of it being this close to town before.  
  
There were more noises, like someone moving around on his porch. Footsteps.  
  
Jaejoong took a deep breath. It was a goat, that was all. Just a goat. They were very smart and escaped their pen at least once every three months.  
  
Just in case, he picked up his umbrella. It did have a very sharp point.  
  
He turned on the porch light. A strange popping noise followed and the porch light blinked and went dead. Perfect. The perfect time for the bulb to burn out.  
  
Taking another deep breath, Jaejoong opened the front door. He started calling the names of his goats. Aimee, Booboo, Danny, Lovely.  
  
He froze for a moment. There was a hole in his porch. An actual hole in his front porch. A big, perfectly round hole. Like something had dropped a boulder and splintered all the wood. But there wasn’t anything in the hole. Jaejoong approached it cautiously, peering into the darkness.  
  
He had no time to react when two arms wrapped around him from behind. One around his waist, the other around his mouth and nose. He kicked and tried to scream and bite, but the arms held him fast. Air, running out of air. He clawed at the fingers. One of them moved and let him take a very deep breath through his nose.  
  
In that moment, a deep quiet voice said, “I apologize for the inconvenience, but at this precise moment, I need you to be still and be quiet.”  
  
Jaejoong froze and then tried to fight again. The hand went back over his nose. The arm around him tightened. A leg got involved, twisting around his. It cut off his breath. The man was too strong to fight.  
  
“I could snap your neck in one moment, but I do not want to start my time on your world as a murderer. Please be still.”  
  
Jaejoong did as he said. And he was allowed to breathe again.  
  
A soft humming permeated the darkness. He could hear his herd of goats bleating in panic. A soft beam of light swept over his porch, pausing at the hole and then continuing on. Jaejoong lost track of time. The beam of light came again and again.  
  
What felt like hours, the man released him, and Jaejoong scrambled away from him, almost tripping, grabbing a wooden beam for support. He turned around. The man was stretching, arms high above his head, bare feet going up to his tiptoes. When he was done, Jaejoong looked away.  
  
“That was close. They’ll send a tracker next. I’d love to be somewhere else when that happens, but they are too close to easily evade. Are there any sort of hidden rooms within your dwelling?”  
  
Jaejoong bit his lip. There was one place, but ... “Are you a criminal?”  
  
“Now, I am. I am not going back to their prison.”  
  
“Prison?” Jaejoong glanced at him. In the dark, he could see no defining features except for his eyes. They almost glowed, but it was a darkness to them, a dark glow of light. Jaejoong’s skin tingled. He was taller than Jaejoong, obviously strong. Dark hair, maybe. The shadows made by the moonlight kept most of the details hidden  
  
“In a sense. I need to be somewhere safe until their tracker passes me by. I am scrambling their sensors, but it won’t last forever.”  
  
Jaejoong had no idea what he was saying.  
  
“Hidden room?”  
  
Jaejoong did not want to. “Can’t you just leave, please? Leave me alone.” He hoped he didn’t sound as desperate as he felt.  
  
“I will leave as soon as possible, but if I leave before their tracker is here, then they will find me and they will take me. I am not going back.”  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes, tightening his grip on the wooden pole of his porch. The rough texture against his cheek told him this was not just a horrible dream. He did not want to harbor a fugitive, but he figured that he could call the police after the man left. For now, he just did not want to die.  
  
Jaejoong let go of the beam, took a few shaky steps toward the front door. As soon as he was within reach, the man stretched out an arm, and Jaejoong was too wired to move too fast, and a firm hand landed on his shoulder.  
  
“Do not try anything. I promise that I do not want to hurt you, but with my hand here, I can break your collarbone in a second.”  
  
Jaejoong believed him. He entered his home.  
  
JiJi sat on the back of a chair and absolutely hissed at the man, fur standing up, yowl growing louder.  
  
“Don’t turn on any lights,” he said. “I can see just fine.”  
  
Jaejoong swallowed. His house was modest, his parents had raised him here, they had both died here, same with his grandparents. He lived alone in a wooded area, a small farm, where he grew his own vegetables, raised his own goats. No one would know if he died tonight. Not for a few days until Yoochun came to look for him.  
  
In the kitchen, he moved around the table toward the back corner. There was a half door that led into a small, mostly underground shed. Before refrigerators, it had been used as food storage. His grandparents had apple trees. Apples lasted a long time during the winter under there. Jaejoong didn’t store anything in it.  
  
“This is not hidden,” the man said harshly.  
  
Jaejoong moved to the side and said, “Under ... under here. There’s a crawl space. Under the house. It’s not big, but ...” He tapped his foot.  
  
He pushed Jaejoong to the side and glanced into the space.  
  
Jaejoong still could not see any of his features in the dark, but his eyes almost glowed. Those he could see. His skin stood up and his body shuddered.  
  
“That may do. They will come and question you. They will say they are looking for a fugitive. I will not go back to their prison. I am very sorry to involve you in my escape, but if you understood what they did to me ...” He trailed off for a moment. “Please, do not say anything. Please. I do not want to hurt you or your guardian animal. But if you say anything about me being here, I have one more failsafe that will blow up this house, this land, and every being in it. Drastic, but I will not go back. I’d rather die, and I do not mind taking others with me. Especially a few of their agents. I will leave as soon as I can.”  
  
He dropped into the recessed space and then shimmied under the wood of the house and into the small storage space below. Jaejoong heard him moving for a moment, and then a piece of wood blocked off the entrance to the crawl space underneath.  
  
Jaejoong stood there in shock, and then crumpled, leaning against the kitchen cabinets. He muffled his cries on his arm. But he wasn’t hurt, he wasn’t injured. There was just a hole in his porch that had to be fixed.  
  
“Shit,” Jaejoong whispered.  
  
He used the counter to stand up and headed to his bathroom. No sooner had he splashed water on his face than there were loud bangs on his front door. Heavy knocks like someone was using their fist and all their weight.  
  
Gasping, Jaejoong stared at himself. He looked guilty. He really did. But ... the man, the prisoner, scared him. He kept his resolve that he would call the police once the prisoner left.  
  
Stumbling, he headed into the living room. The pounding continued.  
  
“God, hang on,” he shouted.  
  
“Open your door immediately. We are the authorities.”  
  
“I’m coming. Shit, it’s the middle of the night.”  
  
Was his voice shaking? Maybe.  
  
He flung a sweater over his upper body for some semblance of modesty. Faking a yawn, he opened the door. Almost immediately, three men and two women pushed past him into his house.  
  
“What the fuck?” Jaejoong said. “You can’t just--”  
  
“Have you seen this creature?” one of the women said and held up what looked like a tablet in front of his face.  
  
“Creature?” Jaejoong said.  
  
“This man. Have you seen this man?”  
  
Jaejoong glanced at it. It was obviously the man hiding under his house. Attractive, small face. Wide eyes. Not Korean. Or maybe Korean. Jaejoong could not really tell. It was like he was raceless. He glanced at the others in the room. Their faces appeared Korean. But their accent.  
  
“Yeah, no. I live in a farmhouse away from the city. I haven’t seen anyone since I was in town yesterday.”  
  
The woman’s eyes narrowed. “You lie to us. That isn’t good.”  
  
His eyes went wide, wondering if she could really tell. Was he shaking? The others had all gone into his house. He heard them moving things, opening closet doors.  
  
“You can’t search my house without permission,” Jaejoong said. “That’s against the law.”

“We are chasing a fugitive. We have rights to do what we wish.”  
  
Jaejoong definitely knew she was lying. Who the hell were these people? They were in uniforms. But their uniforms were gray, or black, or silver. It was like the color changed as they moved and Jaejoong could not settle on any of them. Their hair was short, no longer than the back of their necks. White skin. Mostly, it was just as hard to tell their skin color as their clothes color. Their eyes were all the same as the other. Dark. Almost glowing.  
  
Jaejoong swallowed.  
  
“He was here,” one of the men said.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Jaejoong said.  
  
“You heard nothing?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head, trying to find out a way to get through this without dying. “I’ve been sleeping. I woke up, I don’t know, an hour ago or so, and then went back to sleep before you were pounding on my door.” Mostly the truth.  
  
All five of them looked at each other, and then one of the men nodded. “We are taking over your dwelling until we find him. He cannot have gone far.”

“The fuck you are,” Jaejoong said. “You can’t.”  
  
There was suddenly something in his face. Something that looked like a gun, but was too silver, too sleek. A blue light weaved through it.  
  
“You must leave now.”  
  
Everything went blue. Jaejoong shut his eyes against it.  
  
When he opened them again, he was not in his house. He stood in the middle of what was obviously a hotel room. There were three bags around him.  
  
“What the fuck?” Jaejoong said.  
  
The sun was shining brightly. Hours had passed. So many ... shit. What the fuck just happened?  
  
He went to the door and opened it. One of the men stood outside the door. He held one of the sleek guns.  
  
“You stay. One week. Then you can go home. Do not call anyone. Do not say anything. One week. You come home before then, we will take you.”  
  
Jaejoong inhaled deeply and then said, “Feed my goats, asshole.” He slammed the door and leaned against it breathing deeply. He sank to the floor and let himself cry again.  
  
What the hell just happened?  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
Jaejoong paced the small hotel room. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t relax. The man stayed outside of his door until dark, and then he left.  
  
Or so Jaejoong thought. He had no idea if someone wasn’t watching from outside. Waiting in the parking lot. Should he call the police? The man had said not to tell anyone. Would they find out? Jaejoong was sure they would find out he had contacted the police. But they were authorities, chasing a fugitive. The police would side with them.  
  
One week. Just one ...  
  
He wondered what would have happened if he told them about the man. Did he really have a way to blow them all up?  
  
At this point, Jaejoong would believe everything. He missed his home, and his farm, and his animals, and JiJi. He hoped they did not harm any of them.  
  
Resigned to his fate, Jaejoong flopped on the bed. A week. They said he could go home in a week.  
  
Would they find the man hiding in his house before then? Would they come back? Would they extend the time?

Jaejoong had no idea. This was beyond anything he could have imagined. It was just a week.  
  
He fell asleep as he was and woke up with a start to a touch on his knee, almost flinging himself away from it.  
  
The man stood in his room, smiling at him. The glow of the street lights through the window was enough to see his features. His clothes looked almost the same as the others, but there were numbers on the front and back. His hair was lighter than Jaejoong expected, brown. It looked soft.  
  
He looked more Korean now than the picture on the tablet. Single lidded eyes. Were they like that before? Pretty, almond shaped. His skin was darker than the others had been. Jaejoong took a deep breath. He’d only seen the man in that image that could have been photoshopped and in the dark. It’s not like he could change his features.  
  
“I am sorry,” he said, first thing. “I did not know they would evict you from your dwelling.”  
  
“Fuck you,” Jaejoong muttered without heat and rubbed his face in his hands.  
  
“They will only be there for one of your weeks. Then they will move on.”  
  
_One of your weeks?_ What the fuck?  
  
“How did you get out? How did you get in here? God”  
  
The man smile wider. “They are idiots and many times left the house empty.”  
  
“How did you find me here? How did you get in? Shit, what is wrong with you people?”  
  
“I followed their sensors. A scrambler can do that, retrace the steps of their codes. And the locks are not strong at this place. I opened the door.”  
  
“Why are you still here? Go away.” He almost shouted that.  
  
The man frowned. “I wanted to make sure they did not hurt you. I would not have been able to survive well if I knew that my escape meant you were harmed. I never meant to interact with anyone before I was prepared to.”  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes and sank into the uncomfortable chair near the window. “They didn’t hurt me. But ... oh god. What are they doing? Why are they doing this?”  
  
“They are looking for me. They will look for me for a predescribed amount of time and then they will leave. They said one week.”  
  
“This is ridiculous.”  
  
He heard the man sit on the bed. He almost laughed in delight and then bounced on it. Jaejoong turned to look at him. He was laying flat, arms spread, and smiling.  
  
“You might be crazy.”  
  
“Your sleeping spaces are very soft.”  
  
“It’s called a bed.”  
  
“Your beds are very soft. Though the one in your home is softer than this one.”  
  
“You slept in my bed?”  
  
“No, just climbed on it to get out the window.”  
  
“Who are you?” Jaejoong suddenly asked. “What is wrong with you? Why don’t you know that is called a bed? What is your name?”  
  
“That is a lot of questions,” he said. “First, I guess are introductions. That is usually polite on any world. I am not sure about this one yet. I have not adapted or learned. But I do not have a name.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at him. “Huh?”  
  
“You have a name, Kim Jaejoong, the name your parents gave you at your birth. I do not have such luxuries. I was not born of parents. I was not really born. Maybe I was. I cannot remember. But I am U.N.O.”  
  
“Wait, what?”  
  
“At the facility, I was kept in building U, level N, cell O. Therefore, I am U.N.O. That is what the authorities call me.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
The man looked over at him, face squished against the pillow. He looked relaxed and almost happy.  
  
“Do you believe in other worlds, Kim Jaejoong?”  
  
“Other worlds?”  
  
He lifted an arm and waved it. “In space. The universe? Most on Earth do not believe in other worlds.”  
  
“You’re an alien?”  
  
“I am from Soleigajgiah.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“No matter. I am only a tool. A body for them. I am used only for their experiments. I was being moved to someplace else and I escaped. I will die before I go back.”

“Experiments?”  
  
The smile fell. “I am not going to tell you. I do not wish for you to think about it. It is beyond this, beyond you, beyond this world.”  
  
“So you aren’t from Earth? How did you get here?”  
  
“They were transporting me to a different facility, one where they could do different experiments on my skin. We were orbiting Earth to refuel and I escaped and fell into your home. I am sorry about that. I fell toward what I thought was forests and could not change my trajectory before I realized it and I smashed part of your dwelling. I am sorry to involve you.”  
  
“Orbit ... You fell from space? How did you not die?”  
  
He smiled. “I am stronger than you think. Very sturdy. I adapt to conditions. It is what I am used for.”  
  
Jaejoong turned back to the window. “Will they find you here?”  
  
“No. The only way they can find me is through my numbers, but I stole a scrambler. They cannot find me anywhere.”  
  
“Your numbers?”  
  
He pointed to his chest. “My numbers. U.N.O. 730247238.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at him. “So you’re an alien, who escaped an experiment facility, and now you’re on the run? This makes no sense. You’re crazy.”  
  
“For wanting to be free? No. I think I am very sane for wanting to run away from them and their sharp instruments that hurt me.”  
  
Jaejoong buried his face in his hands. _One week, Kim Jaejoong. Just one week._  
  
“So where are you going to go?”  
  
“Anywhere I want. I can adapt to any situation. It is what I was created for.”  
  
Created.  
  
Made.  
  
“Are you a robot?”  
  
The man laughed. “No! What are you even saying?” He laughed harder.  
  
“What are you even saying?” Jaejoong shouted back.  
  
“A robot! Ha! Do I look like I am made from high grade tetnoctratiam cinaget?”  
  
“Maybe? What is tetno-tra....”  
  
The man sat up and laughed. “I am not a robot. I am ... “ He frowned. “I am not really anything. Not really. But I am made of flesh like yours, bones like yours, but stronger, sturdier. Nothing on this planet can hurt or injure me. Not like ... not like there.” He shivered and whispered, “I don’t like pain. Pain is not fun. I was made to feel it. Others were not. I do not like pain.”  
  
Jaejoong bit his lip. His voice had gone soft, scared almost.  
  
“I am not even sure I can explain the things they can do to me because of the pain.” He looked over at him and said, “You have fire here?”  
  
“Yes,” Jaejoong said carefully.  
  
“They can make my skin, underneath, on fire. Burn the underside of it.”  
  
Jaejoong winced.  
  
“But not just here,” he said, pointing to his arm. “Everywhere. All at once.”  
  
Jaejoong rubbed his arm.  
  
“Your technology here is very primitive. The more it grows, the more they will try to understand the things that we do. I hope that your authorities do not make experiments in pain.”  
  
Jaejoong turned away for a moment and then his stomach grumbled. It’d been more than a day since he ate.  
  
The sound startled the man and he looked over at him. “What was that?”  
  
“I’m hungry,” Jaejoong said. “It happens.”  
  
The man laughed and sprang up from the bed. “Your body makes noises? When you are hungry?”  
  
Before Jaejoong could stop him, the man was on his knees, face pressed to his stomach. He laughed again.  
  
“This is so funny,” he said. “Your body makes noises.”  
  
Jaejoong put his hands on the other’s broad shoulders and pushed him away. The man went easily, falling back to sitting on his feet. “Do you eat?”  
  
“Yes. We need sustenance like all creatures. I am not a robot, remember?”  
  
“What do you eat?”  
  
“Whatever sustenance is given to me. I have not eaten sustenance for a long time. I probably should though.” He looked pensive. “There is sustenance here, on this planet?”  
  
“We have food. You are weird.” Jaejoong put his foot on the other’s shoulder and pushed. But the man caught his foot. His grip around Jaejoong’s ankle was firm. But his touch of his other fingers on the top of his foot was almost a whisper.  
  
“Your skin is so soft. So fragile.” He dug a sharp nail into it, and Jaejoong cried out and tried to jerk away.  
  
“That hurt?”  
  
“Yes, that hurt, you dickhead.”  
  
He frowned and rubbed his finger over the red skin. “So fragile. You would not last very long in the facility.”  
  
“Good thing I do not plan on going there.” He tried to pull his leg away again.  
  
“I want ... this is so different. I want to explore you.”

Jaejoong swallowed. “Excuse me?”  
  
“Your body. It is so different. We look the same, but your skin does not change, your body makes noises. I want to explore it and see how ...” His hand went up Jaejoong’s leg, under his sweatpants. “Muscles, and bone, and skin, but it’s so different.”  
  
“Please let me go,” Jaejoong whispered.  
  
The man pouted, but he did.  
  
Jaejoong pulled his legs up to the chair and curled his arms around his shin.  
  
“Is that wrong?” he asked. “To want that? To want to touch you?”  
  
Jaejoong took a deep breath and did not answer. He finally got up and moved to the phone. He felt fingers on his waist, but said nothing, trying to curb the tingles on his skin from the man’s soft touch. He ordered some food from a place just down the road.  
  
“Did you just ask for sustenance? From the phone?”  
  
Jaejoong went back to the chair. “It’s called delivery service. They will make it and bring it to me.”  
  
“It is not on a schedule?”  
  
“No. It’s available whenever I want it.”  
  
“I like this place,” the man said. “There is a lot of freedom here. I walked here, from your dwelling, and no one asked me why. No one stopped me. No one really even looked at me. It is all very strange.”  
  
With the way the man was dressed, Jaejoong was sure that everyone had looked at him and then just did their best to ignore him. He was obviously crazy.  
  
Or maybe Jaejoong was crazy. Or hungry? Could you hallucinate when you were hungry?


	2. No Sign Of Intelligent Life Anywhere

Jaejoong sat in the uncomfortable chair, shins pressed against the small table. He looked out the window and to the fading sunlight. He had gone to bed on Sunday night, woken up, probably early Monday morning to aliens invading his house. The alien assholes had stolen a few hours from him and dropped him in this place on Monday, and then he’d fallen asleep, and now it was Tuesday. He thought. Maybe he’d lost more than one day. Did that mean he could go home on Sunday, or did he have to wait until Monday? Just to be safe, he decided to wait until Monday.  
  
And this hotel room? He hadn’t been kicked out of it yet, so he figured the crazy alien assholes paid for it. He hoped so. He did not have the money to have a hotel room for a week.  
  
“What is this black thing?” the man asked.  
  
Jaejoong glanced over and had to blink while his eyes grew used to the difference between staring at sunlight and staring into the dim room.  
  
The man was pointing to the television.  
  
“It’s called television.”  
  
“Oh. I know what that means, but I do not understand.”  
  
“Turn it on. See the remote was on the dresser across the room? Pick it up and hit the red button on the top.”  
  
The man stood up and did as he said. The TV sprung to life, on a news channel. With just a glance, Jaejoong was happy to realize that he was right. It was only Tuesday. The crazy aliens had not stolen more than a day from him.  
  
“Is this for real?” he whispered, touching the screen.  
  
Jaejoong smiled. This guy was certainly crazy. He did not know if he believed that he was from another planet, but maybe ... or maybe Jaejoong was crazy.  
  
He told the man how to change the channel, and he spent almost a whole minute just doing that, as fast as he could. Absolute delight filled his laughter.  
  
Jaejoong tried not to smile, but it was pretty adorable.  
  
When the station landed on a violent movie, he stopped and stared, “What is ... why is ... why ... Your world is not at war, right?”  
  
“It’s a movie,” Jaejoong said. “They are acting. It isn’t real. I mean, it is real, but they aren’t really ...”  
  
“Acting?”  
  
“Yes. They are real people, like me and you, but their jobs are actors. They pretend to be other people.” A huge explosion on the TV had the man jumping.  
  
“That was real?”  
  
“Yes, but it’s controlled. It’s part of the movie.”  
  
“I do not understand.”  
  
“I know, but watch it. This one actually isn’t that bad.”  
  
He looked at it and scrunched his face. “What is this language? It is not the same.”  
  
“No, they’re speaking in English. The Korean subtitles are on the bottom.”  
  
He pouted. “I don’t know English yet.”  
  
“Me neither.”  
  
“I can’t read your language ... what are these symbols?” He huffed and changed the channel to a rerun of a variety program. “Better. I understand them.”  
  
“You speak Korean pretty well.”  
  
“I learned yesterday.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“I learned from the database, that is why I jumped when I did. I learned Korean and Japanese just in case my calculations were off. I wanted to learn Chinese too, but I ran out of time. English is ... some of this is in English?”  
  
“It’s one of the most common languages on Earth. Many people speak it.”  
  
“I wish I had learned it.”  
  
“The letters. U.N.O. Those are English letters.”  
  
“Ah, so perhaps I do know their alphabet and just not the language.”  
  
There was a sudden knock on the door, and the man spun and fell to the other side of the bed.  
  
“It’s just the food,” Jaejoong said and opened the door. The delivery man looked almost bored. Jaejoong paid him and took the food back toward the chair and the small table.  
  
The man peeked over the bed. “That is sustenance?”  
  
“Food, yes, come here.” Jaejoong had ordered some noodles with vegetables, rice, and dukbokki.  
  
“This does not look like sustenance.”

“It’s our form of it. Sit.” He pointed to the other chair.  
  
The man sat and breathed in deep. “The smells are very pleasant.”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled. “They are. Here.” He handed him chopsticks and then had to show him how to tear them apart and then how to use them.  
  
When he opened the rice, the man smiled and said, “This looks like sustenance.”  
  
“Rice? This is what you eat?”  
  
“Something like this.” He scooped up some rice, laughing as it mostly fell off his chopsticks, and then tried again with a stickier clump. “It is like this color, but it is more liquid. This tastes much better than sustenance.”  
  
Like with the TV, the man was flabbergasted by the food, eating probably too much of everything. It was amusing at least. He did not like the dukbokki because it was too spicy and hurt his mouth. He did not like pain.  
  
Jaejoong still had no idea if he believed that the man was really an alien.  
  
After eating, he finally went through the bags that the people had left. He snorted at how many clothes were in there. It was like they packed half of his wardrobe.  
  
But not his cell phone. Or his computer. He sighed. Using the phone in the room, he called his cell phone to check his messages. He did not have any, but he wasn’t surprised. He probably had a few text messages from Yoochun. He thought about calling him so he didn’t worry, but the alien freaks said not to call anyone. He changed the voicemail message to say something about a goat eating his phone and he would not be able to get a new one for a week or so, please leave a message.  
  
“You are less panicky than I would expect from a human in this situation,” the man said.  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “Whatever. I want my home back. If I can’t go home in a week, then I’m calling the police.”

“Police? Oh, the authorities. It may get them to move sooner, but do not worry. They say one week, they mean one week. They are very strict with their schedules. I have ruined their original schedule for them. They will be eager to get back to what they were doing before. I wish I had been able to free some of the others.”  
  
“I don’t understand how you managed to escape,” Jaejoong asked. “Aren’t there sirens, alarms, ... I mean, you were in a spaceship. Aren’t those things huge?”  
  
The man grinned. “I stole a scrambler before we left the facility. I knew that I would have a chance during the transport.”  
  
“What is a scrambler?”  
  
The man turned his head and pointed to his ear.  
  
Jaejoong leaned over to look. Nestled in the top curve of the ear was a black square. Jaejoong had thought it was a piercing.  
  
“This is a scrambler. It scrambles anything and lets me go lots of places. I can use it to open door codes, access ports, everything. I was able to get out of my cell, access a computer to see where we were, I made plans, learned your language, and then went into a service hallway where I opened a door and jumped.”  
  
“That ... sounds brave.”  
  
He shrugged. “If I got caught, they would have taken the scrambler and put me back in my cell. It was worth the risk to be free.”  
  
There was laughter on the television, and the man looked over at it. “Can I still watch this television? I really like this television. It is teaching me a lot about your language and your world.”  
  
Jaejoong waved a hand at him. “Whatever.”  
  
The man sat on the end of the bed, legs crossed, and he watched the TV with rapt attention.  
  
Jaejoong flopped onto the other side of the bed and curled away from him. He missed his solitude, but the man wasn’t horrible company. Now that he wasn’t being threatened anyway.  
  
“You need a name,” Jaejoong said. “If you want to adapt to this world, you need a name and lots of documents.”  
  
The man nodded. “I do.”  
  
Jaejoong thought for a moment. “Your letters. U.N.O. That sounds like a Korean name. Uno. We can call you Yunho, or Yunjo, or Yunbo.”  
  
“I like that. Yunho. I will be called that.”  
  
Jaejoong grunted. “Good, now I can stop calling you the crazy alien man in my head.”  
  
He laughed, and Jaejoong smiled, hiding it from the other. He curled up tightly with the extra pillows and tried to relax. He hoped his animals were okay.  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
On Wednesday, Jaejoong woke up at about six in the morning. Annoying internal alarm. He grumbled about uncomfortable beds and then sat up and grumbled more when he realized that the nightmare was real and there was a crazy alien man in his room. He was on the floor, stretched out, hands placed on his stomach. He wondered if the man was sleeping.  
  
Yunho.  
  
Jaejoong sighed. He hoped that after a week, the man would leave him alone.  
  
He went into the bathroom with a clean change of clothes. It’d been more than two days since he showered. He wondered if he could drown in the shower and wake up back in his own bed. He used the bathroom and then got into the shower. The water was warm enough, but lacked good water pressure.  
  
The alien authorities hadn’t thought to pack his toiletries, so he had to use the ones provided in the shower.  
  
He was rinsing shampoo out of his hair when first the bathroom door opened and then the shower curtain was pulled aside.  
  
“What the fuck?” Jaejoong said and glared at Yunho, who was looking at him strangely. But the glare was ruined when he got soap in his eye and he had to turn and bury his face in the water. When he turned back around, Yunho had stepped into the shower with him. There was enough space. Barely.  
  
“What are you doing under water?”  
  
“I’m taking a shower, sheesh.”  
  
“What is the purpose of this activity?”  
  
“What do you mean? It’s to get clean!”  
  
“Why do you clean yourself this way?”  
  
“What other way would I clean myself?”  
  
“We have antibacterial mists, but I don’t really need to shower. My body does not produce waste.”  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes and said, “Well, that’s great. My body does, and I need to shower to clean it. Go away.”  
  
“But I am interested in this process and I have to adapt. I want to watch you so I can learn.”  
  
“A shower is supposed to be private. You do not usually take them with other people.”  
  
“Oh. But this is okay right? Because I am learning?”  
  
Jaejoong grumbled. “Whatever. First off, you don’t wear clothes in the shower.”  
  
Yunho looked down at himself, and at the gray jumpsuit he was wearing. He reached for the neck of it and pulled, and it just peeled off him, no zippers, no seams, no buttons. And then it was in his hand, a small piece of silvery material that did not look large enough to cover one of Yunho’s thighs let alone his entire body.  
  
Jaejoong’s eyes widened. “Wow. That’s ... interesting.”  
  
“They are meant to be confining and easy to clean.” He flung it out of the shower.  
  
“You can borrow some of my clothes if you want.”  
  
“Thank you, Jaejoong! You are being very nice to me even though I destroyed your house and caused to you become involved in my escape. I am very thankful. It is much easier to learn from someone else. Adapting can be challenging.”  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes and tilted his head back.  
  
Fingertips traced down his neck and Jaejoong batted the hand away. “Don’t.”  
  
“I am sorry. Your skin is very soft. I will try not to touch you.”  
  
Jaejoong kept his eyes shut and turned around to douse his head under the water.  
  
“This water is very warm. Are showers always warm?”  
  
“Yes,” Jaejoong said. “It feels good on my skin. Being cold does not feel good.”  
  
“Oh, I am unaccustomed to body temperature fluctuations. Does the water keep your body warm?”  
  
“No, it just feels good on my skin.”  
  
“May I try?”  
  
Jaejoong sighed and pushed him to the side. He had to wash his body anyway.  
  
Yunho did as he did, standing under the spray and then tipping his head back and letting water coat his hair and body.  
  
Jaejoong glanced down his body and mentally cursed. Yunho’s body was sinful, but he guessed that came with being an alien. He had muscles all over, strong pecs, cobbled abs, thick thighs and that perfect V of sin pointing to a pretty lengthy cock between his legs. Why did he need that if he never had to piss? All of his skin was a darker shade of brown than Jaejoong’s, and maybe darker than yesterday? He could not tell. Yunho had no body hair at all.  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes and used the bar of soap to wipe at his skin. When he was washing a foot, he shifted strangely and lost his balance.  
  
Yunho caught him around the middle before he slipped and fell.  
  
“This is how you clean yourself.” Yunho used his own hands to rub the soap up and down Jaejoong’s stomach.  
  
Jaejoong twisted away from him. “Yes. Stop it.”  
  
“You cannot reach here,” he said, a hand on Jaejoong’s back. “You are not that flexible. I will wash it for you.”  
  
Jaejoong bit his lip against a whimper as firm hands slid up and down his back.  
  
“You’re so delicate. So pretty. I like your skin so much. Why do you have hair on your arms and legs and around your penis?” Fingertips slipped around his hip.  
  
Jaejoong flushed and shoved Yunho to the side to rinse off. “It’s body hair, it’s normal.”  
  
“Normal? I was watching something last night where the man and woman did not have body hair. It was on the TV.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed without meaning to. “Porn? Did you watch porn?”  
  
“I do not know what ... ah, pornography. Explicit illustrations of sex usually created for other people to become aroused. Yes. I saw some of that. Is that ... not normal television?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “It’d take way too long to explain porn, so I’m not going to.”  
  
“Sex. That is ... what they were doing? Having sex? Intercourse is the more scientific term. And mating, as well. They were mating?”  
  
“Yes. Having sex is what people normally say.”  
  
“They seemed to enjoy it, but they were actors who may have been faking. Their reactions did seem very contrived. Is sex enjoyable?”  
  
“You’ve never had sex?” He looked over his shoulder in surprise.  
  
Yunho shook his head. “My penis is only ever used to cause me pain in their experiments. I did not know it had other functions, like expelling waste and mating. Can you show me sex too?”  
  
“No! God!”  
  
“It is because you are not a woman,” he said and nodded. “You need to have a place to receive my penis and seed to mate.”  
  
Jaejoong flushed and shook his head. “That’s not ... yeah, okay. We’re going to go with that.”  
  
“Why is the hair on your head a different color than that around your penis?”  
  
“I dye it,” Jaejoong almost growled, growing more annoyed with the stupid man standing in his shower. “It’s ... it’s just ... for entertainment. I don’t need to. I just like having my hair lighter.”  
  
“It is many different colors, but it looks very good with your skin tone. Perhaps I can adapt that way as well. And this thing. Why do you have this here? This metal. What is its function?” His fingers slid over Jaejoong’s pierced nipple.  
  
Jaejoong snapped his hand up and pushed his arm away. “It’s not ... it’s just a thing we do. We pierce body parts. Like our ears or eyebrows or tongues.”  
  
He frowned. “Does that not hurt, having metal shoved under your skin? They did that to me many times.”  
  
“Of course it hurts, but it heals after a while. It’s ... it’s like body decoration.”  
  
Yunho frowned and reached for it again.  
  
“Don’t,” Jaejoong said firmly.  
  
Yunho huffed. “I am sorry. I want to touch you.”  
  
“Whatever. You have soap all over you. Rinse off and then we’ll get out.”  
  
“I have not performed all the steps that you did. I need to learn.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “Fine. But I’m getting out.” He pushed by Yunho again and Yunho moved to the side. He flung the curtain open and stepped out, shivering at the cooler air coming from the main room.  
  
“The water is very warm. How do I make it hotter?”  
  
“Turn the knob toward the red. That stands for hot. The blue stands for cold.”  
  
Jaejoong grabbed a towel and started rubbing himself down. He did not have his facial products and there was no razor to shave his face. Guess he was going to have deal with stubble for a few days. Or maybe he’d go shopping. Would the crazy alien people let him go shopping? He really needed a toothbrush.  
  
“It is very pleasurable to touch my penis with a slick hand of soap.”  
  
Jaejoong groaned and said, “Of course it is. God. Please don’t do that.”  
  
“Is it wrong?”  
  
“Only because I’m still in the bathroom. It is private.”  
  
“Oh. I will stop.”  
  
Jaejoong fought not to think about Yunho touching his cock or wondering how big it was when it hard. And failed.  
  
“Fuck your planet,” he muttered and left the bathroom with his change in clothes.  
  
Only a few minutes later, Yunho called him back. He stood in the middle of the bathroom, naked and dripping water. He was at least smart enough to turn the shower off.  
  
“Where are the controls for the dryer?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Use a towel,” he said and tossed it to Yunho who caught it.  
  
He wiped at his skin with it. “This is not very effective.”  
  
“It is what we use.”  
  
“I must wait until my skin is completely dry before putting on my jumpsuit. If it is wet, my skin can have an adverse reaction.”  
  
“That thing is so ugly. Didn’t you want to borrow some clothes?”  
  
“It will help me adapt. Thank you.”  
  
Jaejoong found him similar clothes and laid them out on the bed. Yunho came into the room naked.  
  
Jaejoong turned his head and said, “I don’t have boxers that will fit you, so just wear those.”  
  
“Boxers? Oh, underwear. Yes. Your penis is smaller than mine. Mine will not fit in your--”  
  
“It’s because you have a larger waist! Hell, we don’t judge underwear by the size of our dicks.”  
  
Yunho tilted his head. “That offended you. Is that a problem? Penis size?”  
  
Jaejoong took a deep breath. “To some, maybe, but it is just not something you say. God.”  
  
“God? You have mentioned him a lot. Is he some sort of sexual deity?”  
  
Jaejoong fell onto the bed and laughed in disbelief. “This is so ridiculous.”  
  
“Your clothes smell very nice, but they are not very soft. They are loose, but the jumpsuit is much more comfortable and easier to move in.”  
  
Jaejoong looked over at him. The sweatpants were a little short on him and his shoulders almost bulged out of the T-shirt. But he was smiling.  
  
“Thank you for letting me use your clothes, Jaejoong.”  
  
“Yeah, no problem.” He put his arm over his head and really hoped there was someplace nearby that he could get some coffee.


	3. The Live Among Us In Secret

Yunho assured him that the crazy alien authorities were nowhere nearby and that Jaejoong could leave the hotel room. He just was not allowed to go home. He wouldn’t be able to anyway. He did not have his car, and when Jaejoong finally did leave the hotel room, he realized that the aliens had dropped him clear on the other side of the city.  
  
Jaejoong did not know the area very well, but the alien assholes had been considerate enough to leave him in the middle of a business district. From the parking lot, he could see a cafe, a convenience store, a couple restaurants and bars, and a few salons. Probably a noreabang nearby or some sort of strip joint.  
  
Jaejoong headed toward the cafe, Yunho following right behind him. Jaejoong had tried to get him to stay but how was he supposed to adapt if he stayed in a hotel room?  
  
“What is this place?” Yunho asked, not really bothering to lower his voice.  
  
Jaejoong winced at the few people who looked over at them. “It’s a cafe. Be quiet, please. Just listen.”  
  
“Listening is a very good way to learn.”  
  
Jaejoong waited in the short line and then ordered two caramel mochas, and because he was starving, he ordered two croissants full of sweet cream and fruit. He paid with his debit card since he had absolutely no cash.  
  
Yunho made a noise next to him, but said nothing, thankfully.  
  
Jaejoong led the way to the small lobby and sat down at a rickety wooden table. Yunho sat across from him.  
  
“I understood that entire process. And how you gave them a payment with your card. I saw the process many times on the television. And now we wait, right?” he asked, thankfully with a lower voice. “For them to make our sustenance?”  
  
“Coffee,” Jaejoong corrected and handed Yunho a croissant. He took a bite of it, and Yunho followed suit, smiling widely.  
  
“It is so sweet, but very delicious. What is it?”  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes with a sigh. “It’s a croissant with cream and strawberries. Shut up and eat it.”  
  
A few moments later, the barista called out Jaejoong’s name. Before he could stand, Yunho did and practically bounced over to the counter.  
  
“Thank you very much,” he said with a bow, and the girl sort of blushed a little bit and told him to enjoy.  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes again. He seriously was going to need way more coffee to deal with this crazy alien man. And maybe some alcohol. God, was it too early to get drunk?  
  
Coffee would have to do. Maybe he should have ordered eight shots.  
  
He glanced warily at Yunho, who had supposedly never had coffee before. And Jaejoong just bought him a double shot espresso drink. Well, fuck. Yunho was already too hyper. God, so stupid. Did caffeine affect aliens differently?  
  
“This is very interesting,” Yunho said. “I would very much like to know what it is made of.”  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “Espresso, milk, caramel and chocolate.”  
  
Yunho tilted his head, and then he smiled, “All of those things were in the database, so I understand. This is a form of sustenance. Of food. But in liquid form.”  
  
“It’s a drink.”  
  
“Sustenance on this planet is very complicated. It will take me a long time to adapt to it, but I am very eager to do so. So far, everything has tasted so wonderful, even the spicy sustenance that burned my mouth.”  
  
Jaejoong saw a few odd looks come their way and decided that Yunho was not ready to be in public yet. He stood up. “Come on. I need some things.”  
  
Yunho stood up. “Can we take our coffee with us?”  
  
“Yes, of course. Stop talking.”  
  
They left the cafe.  
  
“Are you angry with me?”  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “No, just you’re so stupid, it’s ridiculous and people keep looking at you funny when you talk, and I just ...”  
  
“Ah, embarrassment. That is what you are.”  
  
“I’m not.”  
  
“You are.”  
  
“I’m ... Fuck. Fine. Yes. You’re so stupid. Not ... stupid, just, you don’t know anything.”  
  
“That is why I must adapt. I am still learning.”  
  
Jaejoong sped up his steps and went into the small convenience store. He bowed to the man behind the register and said hello. He heard Yunho do the same behind him.  
  
Yunho was right. He was learning. It wasn’t his fault that Yunho didn’t know anything. Jaejoong had to try to be nicer and more understanding.  
  
Jaejoong bought two normal sized toothbrushes and the toothpaste that he liked, shaving cream, razors, and body lotion. This place did not carry anywhere near the amount of products that he used on his face, but he found a facial cleanser that would be sufficient for his needs. The last thing he added was a pair of cheap blue flipflops and then told Yunho to pick a color he liked, because Jaejoong’s shoes were too small for his feet.  
  
Of course, the crazy alien man picked the pink ones with yellow smiley faces on them.  
  
Jaejoong sighed and decided not to worry about it.  
  
After paying and then leaving the store, Yunho asked, “What were all those things for? I did not see all of them.”  
  
Jaejoong glanced over at him and sighed. Even if Yunho was not actually an alien, it wasn’t good to be mean to him. “I will show you when we get back to the hotel room.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Thank you!”  
  
Jaejoong showed him how to brush his teeth. Yunho said he did not need to do that, but Jaejoong was very firm in saying that it was very normal. With Yunho watching, he shaved the stubble off his face. Yunho was very glad that he did not have hair on his face because he did not want a sharp blade that close to this skin.  
  
When Jaejoong used the cleanser to wash his face, Yunho picked it up and asked, “Is this what makes you so beautiful?”  
  
Jaejoong choked on nothing and inhaled some of the water that he had just splashed onto his face. It took him a minute to stammer something about cleaning and soap and skin.  
  
Yunho was most intrigued about the body lotion, watching in awe as Jaejoong rubbed it onto his legs and arms. “Many times they would spread things into my skin that would burn or would be painful. This is not painful. I like this a lot.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “It helps keep your skin soft. Well, my skin anyway.”  
  
“My skin is naturally soft.”  
  
“But durable.”  
  
“Yes. Very durable.”  
  
Unconsciously, Jaejoong reached for him and touched his arm. His skin was soft. It felt like normal skin.  
  
“If you can touch me, then can I touch you again? I have not for this entire day.”  
  
Jaejoong pulled his hand away. “Sorry. Just curious.”  
  
“So am I. Your body is very curious to me. I really wish that you would let me explore it.”  
  
Jaejoong had no intentions of telling Yunho that he kept thinking about it and wishing he wouldn’t.  
  
“I have learned much about your world and your country from television. Touching strangers is okay while in a crowded area, but not in an exploratory way. Many women on the television slap men who attempt to touch them. Except in the pornography. Though sometimes there is a lot of slapping in the pornography. Especially on the buttocks.”  
  
Jaejoong cleared his throat. God, the words out of this man’s mouth. “Touching is ... well, it’s ...”  
  
“Private?” Yunho asked, almost whispering.  
  
“Mostly. Intrusive. Not ... we aren’t ...”  
  
Yunho tilted his head like he did when he was thinking about something. “I understand. We are not dating. We are not a couple. We are not mating. The way I wish to touch you is definitely more along those lines. At least, from your point of view. Touching is very intimate. But from my point of view, it is merely experience, knowledge, and adaptation.”  
  
Jaejoong cleared his throat again and nodded. “Yeah.”  
  
“I could ask to court you. Date you. But you already know my intentions, and I have learned that asking someone out without really meaning it turns out very badly for everyone. Someone may even die.”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled. “You are watching way too many dramas.”

“I enjoy them a lot. They are teaching me many things. You are far superior in looks to many of the actors. Maybe you should be on TV.”  
  
Jaejoong had heard that more than once in his life. “I like my farm.”  
  
Yunho sat cross-legged at the end of the bed. “Tell me about it.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “It’s my family’s. It has been in our family for five generations. It used to be bigger, but my grandfather sold some of the land for money. I was told more than once that I needed to be married to make sure the land would stay in our family. But that probably will not happen.”  
  
“Why not?” Yunho asked. “It is a worthy endeavor.”  
  
“But not a good reason to marry a woman.” Jaejoong almost heard Yunho say the next question about that and he hurried to continue to talk about his goats, the garden, the chickens, his favorite little orchard. And JiJi, who hunted mice as often as he demanded treats.  
  
“It is very different than the city where most of the dramas take place.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “Very different. I lived in the city for a few years, and then my parents needed me there.”  
  
“How old are you?” Yunho asked.  
  
“Thirty-one. What about you?”  
  
Yunho shrugged. “I don’t know the answer to that. I have no idea when I was created and I have no idea how many years have passed since then. Or if the years on my planet mean the same thing as the years on your planet. It is very important in your culture though. Age dictates social greetings and relationships. Based upon my knowledge, I would like to believe that we are the same age, so that we may be friends.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “That is fair. Except you did invade my house and threaten to kill me.”  
  
“Drastic measures, I know. I did not wish to do either of those things. You will be older than me. So it is fair that I must be deferential to you.”  
  
“I’d rather we be friends,” Jaejoong said.  
  
Yunho smiled. “Me too! But you can be older. When is your birthday?”  
  
“January 26, 1986.”  
  
“Good. Mine will be after that. Your calendar is confusing, but I think that February sixth will suffice. Now, I need identification and documents that will prove my existence.”  
  
“Those will be hard to fake.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “But not impossible. I am an adapter.”  
  
“After I am allowed back into my home, you can use my computer to figure out everything you need.”  
  
His head tilted again. “You would allow me into your home? After all the things that have happened?”  
  
Jaejoong swallowed roughly and nodded. “It’s what a friend would do.”  
  
His smile was almost blinding, and he said, “Thank you very much. You are so nice.”  
  
Jaejoong looked away and cleared his throat. “Are you hungry?”  
  
“We have already eaten today.”  
  
“I need to eat two or three times a day.”

“That is far too excessive.”  
  
“Well, my body is not as efficient as yours and most food does not contain enough nutrients. I need to eat.”  
  
Jaejoong found the number of the place who delivered yesterday and ordered some different items, just in case Yunho wanted to sample more food. He did like to eat.  
  
When he hung up, Yunho was standing at the end of the bed. He looked unsure of something.  
  
“What is it?”  
  
“I am uncertain if this is appropriate.”  
  
“If what is appropriate?”  
  
Before Jaejoong could move away, Yunho stepped into him and hugged him, arms around his body, face pressed against his hair. Jaejoong froze and held his breath.  
  
Yunho let him go. “So I was wrong. That ...”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “What was it for?”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Being nice to me. Being my friend. I do not deserve either from you.”  
  
Jaejoong rolled his eyes. “It was only inappropriate because I was not expecting it. We have not known each other long and well, hugging is usually ...”  
  
Yunho nodded. “Most of the time, those on the dramas who are dating hug each other. But sometimes, friends do it too, but we are not that far into our relationship. I apologize if I offended you.”  
  
“You’re so stupid,” Jaejoong muttered and stepped back into him, arms going right around Yunho’s waist. He held on tightly, tucking his head against Yunho’s shoulder. He was the perfect height. And so strong. God, Jaejoong should not have hugged him.  
  
Tentatively, Yunho hugged him back.  
  
“You didn’t offend me, you big oaf. I do not mind if you hug me.”  
  
_Or kiss me,_ Jaejoong thought. _Or fuck me. God, shut up. Just ... he’s a weird alien man thing. And maybe that means his very long penis grows into a very large erection that can fuck into you and can last longer than the assholes who you’ve dated in the past._  
  
Jaejoong huffed at himself and pulled away before the obvious half-hard erection was visible to Yunho. God, he was deprived. After this experience, maybe he would take Yoochun up on his offer to set him up on a blind date. Or at least go to a club to find a one night stand or something.  
  
_If it’s only going to be one night, why not just let Yunho fuck you? He does need to learn. You do have a hotel room._  
  
Jaejoong groaned, sat on the bed and turned on the TV to distract himself.  
  
“So I may sit here?” Yunho said and sat almost right next to Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong nodded and swallowed roughly. “Sure.”  
  
“Okay. I sorely wish to touch you. It is becoming a bit of an obsession, really. I do not understand why.”  
  
Jaejoong swallowed. Was Yunho attracted to him and just had no idea? That was possible. “Sometimes when something is forbidden it becomes alluring.”  
  
Yunho bumped him with his shoulder. “You are very alluring.”  
  
“Shut up.”  
  
They ate their dinner and watched TV for hours. Without his chores to do, life sure was boring.  
When Jaejoong finally could not stay awake, it was past midnight.  
  
“I need to sleep.”  
  
“Your days are very short here. In the facility, I was awake for thirty-six hours and then slept for six.”  
  
Jaejoong groaned. “I would not survive that at all.”  
  
“You would not survive many other things in the facility before the days and nights managed to do any mental damage to you.”  
  
Jaejoong shivered. “I’m going to sleep. You can stay up and watch TV if you want.”  
  
“I will not disturb you.” He turned off the TV. “I must adapt, so I will lay down as well and see if I can get my body to sleep.”  
  
Jaejoong’s heart sped up a little bit as he climbed under the covers. Yunho did not follow him, and after a moment, Jaejoong realized that he was lying on the floor again.  
  
“Why are you on the floor?”  
  
“Four reasons,” Yunho said, his voice very matter-of-fact. “One. I am not tired and do not wish to disrupt you while I attempt to adapt. Two. The bed is too soft, and I am used to sleeping on a hard surface. Three. It is too soon in our friendship and relationship to share a bed in such a way. And four. You are the more grievously insulted party of the two of us and you are my hyung, so you are to sleep in the bed.”  
  
“Those are all ridiculous reasons. Well, maybe not the third one. You need to adapt. Come up and lay on the bed. It’s weird to sleep on the floor that way.”  
  
Yunho lifted his head above the edge of the bed. “I will not disturb you?”  
  
“No. This bed is large enough for both of us.”  
  
“And what of our relationship?”  
  
Jaejoong turned his back on Yunho and hoped the shaking of his voice was hidden. “It isn’t fair for you to lay on the floor when you need to adapt.”  
  
“Thank you,” Yunho said and slipped under the blanket.  
  
Jaejoong held his breath.  
  
Yunho barely moved or breathed.  
  
Jaejoong spent the next hour or so curled up as tightly as possible, trying not to move while simultaneously trying his hardest to hear anything Yunho may have done.  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
Thursday morning, the waking nightmare blurred into a brush of a good dream when Jaejoong woke up to a firm body underneath his. He loved the secure hold around his shoulder and the soft brush of fingertips along his arm.  
  
But he did not have a boyfriend. Hadn’t had one for a long time. Maybe he still was dreaming. Was this still the dream about the crazy alien man?  
  
Jaejoong’s eyes shot open and he looked at Yunho, who looked back a him with eyes that were not dark anymore but brown. Had they always been brown? Maybe.  
  
He attempted to push away and yawned, his hands on Yunho’s side. God, he even had muscles here.  
  
“You cannot be angry at me for touching you,” Yunho said. “You are the one who rolled into me.”  
  
Jaejoong sighed. He knew that. He was such a cuddle whore.  
  
“I attempted to wake you, but then you did not move and I figured it was okay. I did not want you to be uncomfortable.”  
  
Like now? But it was only from embarrassment.  
  
Jaejoong huffed again, kept his face hidden, and did not stop the hand that rubbed up his arm and into the shirt sleeve of his T-shirt.  
  
Pleasure twisted through his body, and his ever-helpful mind asked how entirely bad it would be to teach Yunho all about sex with a man?  
  
Bad. So very, very bad.  
  
Jaejoong finally rolled away from his body, curling up on the other side of the bed with deep breaths, attempting to control his erection.  
  
“It was not okay?” Yunho asked.  
  
“It was fine,” Jaejoong replied.  
  
“Then ...” Yunho moved. One hand slid around his waist, the other went under the pillow, supporting his head, and Yunho’s body molded against his. “Is this okay?”  
  
Jaejoong was shaking something fierce.  
  
“You are very tense, and that is never good, so I am sorr--”

“No,” Jaejoong said quickly. “It’s fine. Just ... it’s okay.”  
  
_And having Yunho’s dick inside you and that hand holding your leg up for a clear angle to fuck into you would definitely be okay._  
  
Jaejoong took a few more deep breaths and attempted to relax.  
  
“This is very comfortable,” Yunho said. “I can almost understand how you can sleep this way. It is more comfortable than lying flat.”  
  
There were all sorts of reasons that came to his mind including how the bed and pillows were supposed to curl around your body, but the one that came out of his mouth was, “It is always nice to sleep next to someone, to be held and--” He shut up.  
  
“I can understand that. I very much like to hold you even if I am not allowed to touch your skin.”  
  
It was only day four. Jaejoong had a very bad feeling that by the end of the week Yunho would be doing much more than touching him. He had horrible self control when it came to sexy men who were also cute and adorable. God, this was not fair at all. This is why he surrounded himself with goats and chickens.  
  
_No, this entire situation is because you surround yourself with goats and chickens._  
  
Jaejoong sighed and shut his eyes.  
  
Somehow, he fell back to sleep. He wasn’t sure how, but being held had felt very nice. When he awoke, he smelled coffee, and he smiled, wondering how that was possible when he was still dreaming.  
  
He lifted his head.  
  
Yunho was eating something that looked very sweet, and he smiled around the bite in his mouth. “You slept a long time. I have adapted enough that I went to buy coffee. The woman remembered you from before, and she blushed when she said that, so I think she found you attractive, but she remembered your order, so I bought coffee and some delicious things called danishes. I have saved you one, but if you don’t eat it soon, I may eat it instead.”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled, content to curl up with a pillow and just watch Yunho. He was indeed very attractive. But he did not remember ... had he always looked like that?

“You look ... different?” Jaejoong said.  
  
Yunho smiled. “Thank you!”  
  
“But ... why ...”  
  
“I am an adapter. I have learned many things from you. I am using my body to change to fit in with your people.”  
  
“You’re making yourself more attractive?”  
  
Yunho’s smile widened. “You think I am attractive? Like this?”  
  
Jaejoong blushed and said, “You were attractive before. What’s different?”  
  
“My eyes look more like yours. So does my skin. I have attempted to recreate body hair, but that is being difficult, so instead, my skin is darker.”  
  
“You look different, but not ... not like a different person. The changes are very subtle.”

Yunho nodded. “Then I have succeeded in adapting. But that is the easy part. The hard part is learning social customs and culture. I am glad I have the television and you to help me with that. The girl at the counter blushed very cutely when I told her she could call me oppa. Based on dramas, that was also a success.”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled, remembering the girls from the cafe. “Definitely a success.” He finally climbed out of bed, stretching. He had not even noticed his mostly hard cock until Yunho said, “It is very interesting that your penis is erect when you awaken. I have never experienced this before.”  
  
Jaejoong turned away with a flush and then realized that there was no use in being embarrassed. “We call it morning wood. Happens to most guys. I don’t know why. Maybe when we get back to my house you can look it up.”  
  
“I am very interested in this. It appears that sex controls many of your social situations even in subtle ways.”  
  
Jaejoong thought about that and nodded. “It really does. I’ve never thought of that before.”  
  
“You do not, because it is not new to you. It is part of your conditioning.”  
  
“Conditioning?”  
  
“Yes. Your education. Your knowledge. It is fascinating to me. I have so much to learn. I need to find someone to show me about sex.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at him, eyes slightly narrowed. And then he turned around and went into the bathroom before he told Yunho he was not allowed to learn about sex from anyone but him.  
  
God, he was so fucked.  
  
_Not yet,_ that voice said.  
  
Jaejoong told himself to fuck off.


	4. We Come In Peace

Before noon, Jaejoong was stir crazy. And horny.  
  
Yunho demanded to know about exercise after catching Jaejoong doing situps. Without effort, the alien man did two hundred of them, just because he enjoyed the movement, laughing the entire time.  
  
And of course, Jaejoong’s helpful inner voice continued to plague him with ideas of sex. Would Yunho enjoy _that_ movement? How long could Yunho fuck him without coming? Could Yunho come? Could he even get erect? Did Jaejoong care? He’d be more than happy to rut out an orgasm on Yunho’s thick thigh if Yunho could not fuck him.  
  
God, he was deprived. He needed help. And an orgasm.  
  
He went jogging to clear his mind, but Yunho wanted to come too, so he came too, and Jaejoong forgot that Yunho still had no boxers and spent the next hour trying not to watch the way his dick bounced around in those sweats while answering all of Yunho’s inane questions about cars, buses, sidewalks, motorcycles, trash cans, trees, mountains, clouds, stairs, escalators, and the symbols on all the street signs.  
  
The run made everything worse because Yunho was not even out of breath. “I have a lot of stamina,” he informed Jaejoong while Jaejoong was walking around, hand on his hips, gasping for breath. “I can go a very long time without being tired.”  
  
And well, wasn’t that statement just perfect for Jaejoong’s sexual cravings and fantasies?  
  
Friday, Jaejoong gave up trying to exercise to calm himself down and kept most of his focus on discussing food with Yunho. They ate at many of the restaurants, even if it was just a dish here and there. But then Jaejoong did something so subconsciously stupid that he wondered if he really was crazy.  
  
He bought Yunho an ice cream cone.  
  
Yunho ate his messily, enjoying the flavor and coldness on his mouth and lips. Which meant that he had ice cream ... sticky, creamy, white ... all over his lips and down his chin.  
  
“This is sort of like sustenance,” Yunho said. “But it is not so sweet. Not quite as opaque.”  
  
Jaejoong was starting to think that “sustenance” was a lot like come. But again, that had him thinking of sex at all the wrong moments.  
  
At least Yunho did not try to shower with him again, which gave Jaejoong ample time to jerk off.  
  
It also did not help that Yunho spooned up so close to him the night before, so close that they were like one person, right in the middle of the bed. And because Jaejoong was a masochistic freak, he did not tell Yunho to move.  
  
That morning, Jaejoong had again woken up in his arms, face pressed to his skin, with his dick as hard as a rock. He was going absolutely crazy, and he refused, on Friday night, to answer why he needed to take another shower when he had already taken one and had not exercised or grown sweaty with any other sustained physical activity.  
  
Sustained physical activity.  
  
Yunho’s exact words.  
  
God, his cock was going to be raw before this nightmare was over.  
  
Though waking up in Yunho’s arms was not a nightmare.  
  
Fuck, he was going to go crazy. He attempted to stay awake longer on Friday night to keep from curling up against Yunho’s strong body while he slept.  
  
Yeah, that didn’t work.  
  
Saturday morning, he felt resigned to his fate, when he woke up with his face pressed against Yunho’s bare chest, and his hand almost slipping under Yunho’s sweatpants. The only reprieve he had was when Yunho went to go buy coffee and Jaejoong took a shower to jerk off. Again.  
  
He was on a desperate edge, cock mostly hard, pacing back and forth, shaking. Uncontrollable. Fuck. He was so fucked.  
  
_Soon, only a couple more days,_ Jaejoong whispered to himself, mentally and out loud sometimes. Two more days. It was Saturday. On Monday morning, he would be free of this.  
  
Except that Jaejoong had invited Yunho over to his house. So Tuesday. Maybe Tuesday.  
  
“Are you okay?” Yunho asked, coming up behind him, arms around his waist.  
  
Jaejoong shivered, eyes shut, and leaned against him. He should have pulled away, but Yunho had made a habit of hugging him whenever he wanted, and Jaejoong was a masochistic fuck, and let him. “I’m fine.”  
  
“You’ve been ... I am unsure of the word. Uncomfortable?”  
  
“I know. It comes from being cooped up indoors all the time. I’m used to my farm and working outside and ... I feel lazy. Those asshole authorities better be feeding and milking my goats.”  
  
Yunho chuckled, the feeling almost pressed to the skin of Jaejoong’s neck.  
  
He bit his lip against a moan.  
  
“I am sure they are. They take their jobs very seriously, and while they may use your house as a base to find me, they would never let it fall into disrepair. That is very unlike their tedious, meticulous nature.”  
  
“But you’re not afraid of them coming to find you here?”  
  
“I understand how they work. I was not there. I was not at the house. I did not contact you. They would never think to look for me here.”  
  
“If they do?”  
  
Yunho shrugged. “I can still blow everything up if I want.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“The scrambler does more than just block their communications. It can scramble matter as well as electronic information.”  
  
Jaejoong did not want to think about that. But maybe that’s why his insides felt absolutely scrambled. Equal parts annoyed, frustrated, horny. Mostly horny. Maybe Yunho’s little earring was the cause of all this and not just Jaejoong’s inability to control himself in this tiny room with such an attractive, fuckable, adorable, sweet man. Alien. Thing. Fuck.  
  
“Is that all that is worrying you? Your goats?”  
  
Jaejoong took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it.”  
  
“Okay. But ... if it is me, if you have grown tired of me ...”  
  
“Don’t be stupid,” Jaejoong said and turned in his arms. “You’re the only thing that is making this confinement tolerable. Even if some moments, I cannot stand to be around you.” He bit his lip hard at that, cursing his inability to keep his mouth shut.  
  
Yunho’s face fell. He attempted to let go, but Jaejoong put his arms around his shoulders and said, “Wait. That is not what I meant.”  
  
“You do not like me.”  
  
“Yunho, fuck, sometimes you are so ...” He shut his eyes. “How do I explain this?”  
  
“With words.”  
  
Jaejoong opened his eyes, saw Yunho’s smile and laughed. “Oh my god, you just made a joke!”  
  
He nodded. “My first one in your language. It was funny?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head and buried his face in his shoulder. “Yes, you dolt. It was funny. And it’s also a good idea. I will used words. You learned the language quickly. Did that database by any chance contain the word homosexual?”  
  
Yunho tilted his head for a moment, lips moving, and then his eyes widened. “Two members of the same gender participating in relationships and intercourse. I thought you said ...”  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “I did, but ... I just ...”  
  
“You are a homosexual?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“That is great! Then you can show me sex and teach me.”  
  
“No, Yunho ...”  
  
“You don’t want to?”  
  
“No, I do. I want to so badly, but ...”  
  
“I am attractive. I have learned that sex requires attraction.”  
  
“Shut up for three seconds, and I will explain.”  
  
Yunho squeezed his lips together. It was incredibly cute, and Jaejoong grinned at him. He also became aware that they were still together, arms around each other. He caved and lifted a hand, running it through Yunho’s hair, scratching at the shorter strands at his neck. He actually felt Yunho shiver, which was odd, because Yunho did not react to much physical stimulation. He liked that though.  
  
“You are incredibly attractive,” Jaejoong whispered, keeping his hand where it was and his fingers running through his hair, “but I am not a slut. I don’t just sleep with people because they’re attractive. There is a connection. Love some call it. I like you. I promise, I like you, but I’ve only known you for five days. Or four days. Maybe.” Jaejoong shut his eyes. “I just ... it’s hard when ... When you leave--”  
  
“I don’t want to leave,” Yunho said, almost panicked. “I don’t ... I don’t ... I was going to ask if I could stay with you, but I ... that is inappropriate considering I ruined part of your home and ...”  
  
“Shut up about my home already.”  
  
Yunho pouted, and it was so, so cute. So cute. Jaejoong tried not to be swayed.  
  
“You learned to pout from dramas,” Jaejoong accused.  
  
“Yes, but ... wait, I ... I did not ... I did not do it to sway your mind, I am ... upset. I want ...” Yunho huffed. “Emotions are very complicated.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “They really are. I really like you, Yunho. You are really sweet, and you are very kind, and you are very attractive. Under normal circumstances, I would have asked you on a date, but you aren’t from here, you’re an alien, and you ... I ... just ...”  
  
“Do you want me to leave?” Yunho asked, eyes sad.  
  
“No. Not now. I told you that you could use my computer.”

“But then, after ...”  
  
“After you have adapted and can live by yourself?”  
  
“I can live by myself now,” he said firmly. “I stay because I like you. I want to stay with you. Please let me stay with you”  
  
Jaejoong put his face back on Yunho’s shoulder. He did not protest when Yunho hugged him more tightly, their bodies pressed so close together. He put his face against Yunho’s neck and breathed. He smelled ... not of nothing, but not of anything that Jaejoong was used to. He did not smell of sweat or cologne or ... he smelled ... sort of like a rose. Almost rustic. Heavy. It was probably the most perfect of smells.  
  
Jaejoong pulled away from him, sliding his hands down Yunho’s arms to his hands. He pulled a little bit, and Yunho followed him right to the bed. He swallowed because this was ... so not like him. He was totally blaming an alien probe in his brain or that fucking scrambler that was making him hornier than usual.  
  
Eyes shut, Jaejoong took off his shirt. He left his sweatpants on because he was not quite ready for that yet. He lay back on the bed, shifting up until his feet were no longer on the floor. He lay there for a moment and then whispered, “Come and explore my skin.”  
  
There was absolute stillness, and then the bed dipped.  
  
“But this ... It is not appropriate for our relationship.”  
  
“Just do it,” Jaejoong said. “I cannot seem to talk anymore, so my body will do it for me.”  
  
“Is that possible?” Yunho asked. “Your body makes weird noises, but can it actually communicate with language?”  
  
Jaejoong burst out laughing. “No, you stupid alien. It’s an expression.”  
  
Yunho pouted again. His hand lay flat on Jaejoong’s stomach. “How was I supposed to know?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head, rolled his eyes, and actually relaxed. Was Yunho touching him just to learn? Maybe. Did Jaejoong care? Maybe.  
  
The hand started at his stomach, a finger slipping around his navel. Jaejoong shut his eyes and enjoyed the soft touch. He did not try to stop his body from responding, his muscles contracting, his skin pebbling. A brush of fingers had his stomach muscles jerking. Another brush over his chest had his muscles tightening. The firmer press along his collarbones had Jaejoong arching, neck taut, head pressed firmly into the mattress. His own hands stay spread to the sides, gripping the blanket.  
  
Fingers moved down his breastbone before swooping over to tug at his nipple piercing.  
  
“May I ... attempt something?

Jaejoong stiffened for a moment and then relaxed. He was not going to disagree. Not seriously anyway. He nodded, trying not to gasp.  
  
The bed moved a little and then a warm mouth closed around his other nipple, and Jaejoong cried out, hands going right to Yunho’s head, in his soft hair. Yunho continued to tug on his nipple ring. And Jaejoong had enough consciousness to realize that his dick was hard, and Yunho had lowered his hips. Gasping, Jaejoong rocked up against him, skin almost on fire.  
  
When Yunho pulled away from his nipple, Jaejoong moaned.  
  
“Your skin is so soft,” Yunho whispered, lips brushing up to his collarbones. “It is so sensitive. Each touch just ... causes some reaction.” The sensation of a tongue against that sensitive skin had Jaejoong squirming. And then lips pressed against his neck, soft and then firmer in an open touch of wetness.  
  
Jaejoong gasped, turning his head a bit more, and Yunho sucked. A soft attempt. Just to see, and Jaejoong moaned in response. An actual word. Something that sounded like harder.  
  
Yunho sucked harder, and Jaejoong whimpered, trying not to squirm too much.  
  
“May I bite you?” Yunho whispered.  
  
Jaejoong had a moment to think that maybe Yunho was a vampire instead of an alien, but his body wanted what it wanted and he gasped out a yes. The same spot fell victim to Yunho’s teeth, and he sucked before biting down. It was very soft, very tentative, and then harder, a little firmer. Jaejoong gasped, writhing and then tugged his head back.  
  
Yunho went easily, worrying his lower lip. “Did I hurt you?” He brushed his fingers over the mark. “I am afraid that I hurt you.”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “No, you didn’t. I mean, you did, but ... just ... fuck, Yunho. It feels so good.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “I have experienced so much pain in my life. I never want to cause you pain.”  
  
Jaejoong wanted to demand that he suck on his cock then and give him an orgasm, because god, his dick was throbbing.  
  
Yunho’s hands slid up his side firmly and then went back to his hips, up and down his ribs, and Jaejoong breathed through it.  
  
“Your skin is so sensitive. I do not think I will ever be able to replicate these reactions.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled and used his hands to run them up and down Yunho’s back. “Does that feel good?”  
  
Yunho tilted his head. “It is not unpleasant but that is because there is no pain. It is pleasant because you are touching me and I like that.”  
  
He scratched the base of his hair line again, and Yunho’s eyes shut, mouth open a little bit. “You like that.”  
  
“It is a very pleasant feeling.”  
  
“That is how all your touches feel on my skin.”  
  
“I understand why you enjoy it then. There is ...” Yunho brushes his fingers on Jaejoong’s stomach, right by his hip bone, and Jaejoong jerked, feeling his muscles tense. “That is the most violent reaction.”  
  
“So far,” Jaejoong gasped.  
  
“So far?”  
  
“There are lots of places that you haven’t touched yet.”  
  
“I may continue?” He was actually excited.  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes and had to remind himself it was because Yunho was learning. That was all. He nodded. He did not protest as Yunho pulled pants and boxers off his body.  
  
“I am most curious ...”  
  
After a moment, Jaejoong opened his eyes. Yunho was staring at his dick. Jaejoong moaned. “What?”  
  
“I have never seen it in this form before. Hardened, yes, but not naked in this way, I mean. It is very ...” He touched a finger to the ridge and then down the length of it, down the shaft.  
  
Jaejoong whimpered, feeling himself jerk and pump clear fluid on his stomach.  
  
“It is fascinating.”  
  
“That’s wonderful. Since you’re turning this into a science experiment, will you please just jerk me off and judge those results?”  
  
Yunho frowned and instead, leaned back over Jaejoong, their faces close. “I am sorry. I know ... I understand what ... I do not completely understand ... but to you, I understand, this is important, and instead I have turned it into my own greedy ...”  
  
Jaejoong growled and shut him up. “I know what it is you to. I get that, but I can’t take it anymore. If you do not give me an orgasm right now, I am ... just ... please. I can’t ... I can’t take being in this little room with you anymore without touching you, without you touching me, without knowing what your touch feels like. I want you so badly, it’s almost eating at me. So either do this or leave, because I can’t ... I can’t do this anymore.”  
  
Jaejoong pulled at his hair and buried his face against Yunho’s warm shoulder. He shifted enough to get his erection against Yunho’s side and thrust against him, shuddering at the feel of his skin ... it wasn’t ... warm. It was just skin, and it was ... almost clinical.  
  
Definitely frustrating. Yunho’s skin was not sensitive, not to anything but pain it seemed.  
  
“You want ...” Yunho said, “you want to make porn with me?”

Jaejoong laughed. “God, just ... shut up. Just ... no, fuck.” He fell against the bed and put his arms back to his side. His dick was still throbbing. “Keep touching me.”  
  
Hands went back to his hips, and then one was on his cock, stroking lightly. But enough. Jaejoong arched up, butt off the bed, and Yunho sped up a little bit.  
  
“You are correct. That was much more violent than ...” He brushed his fingers on Jaejoong’s stomach, and he gasped, arching even more at the two sensations. A mouth on his nipple had Jaejoong’s dick throbbing, almost over the edge, but he had never come so fast in his life. And it was just an experiment, because Yunho pulled his mouth away.  
  
“Multiple erogenous zones make an even stronger reaction,” he muttered and then moved down the bed.  
  
Jaejoong whimpered at the loss of warmth over him, and then Yunho’s mouth was on his balls, his hand still jerking at a constant speed.  
  
Jaejoong cried out, knees bending and spreading. He tried not to thrust into Yunho’s hand and lost.  
  
“Very interesting,” he whispered.  
  
Jaejoong whined at him. “Just ... stop talking. Please. Stop. Use your mouth for something else.”  
  
“That is a very good idea.”  
  
And then Yunho was closer, almost pressed too close. The hand left his cock for a moment, and his butt lifted, and Yunho’s tongue was sliding down his cleft, licking up and down, stopping at his pulsing entrance.  
  
“These whimpers are loudest.”  
  
“Fuck you, fuck, what .... Yunho!”  
  
He pushed at Jaejoong’s knees, and Jaejoong gripped behind them.  
  
“Much easier. I was wishing for a third hand. This way I can ...”  
  
His hand went back to his erection. His mouth went back to his ass. His tongue licking, lapping, and then sucking on his balls. He flicked the whorled opening, pressing against it, and then sucked at each sensitive curve. When teeth bit down, Jaejoong screamed and pumped out his orgasm all over his stomach. His body shaking way too much.  
  
Yunho did not stop, and Jaejoong shuddered through too much pleasure at the continued stimulation, and he gasped, “Stop, fuck, Yunho ... wait ... Too sensitive.”  
  
Almost immediately, Yunho stopped, pushing up, using Jaejoong’s hips. He ended up kneeling between his spread knees.  
  
Jaejoong shut his eyes, chest heaving from his breaths. His body was still quaking through the aftermath. His thighs shivering where they pressed against Yunho’s.  
  
“Ah, this looks like sustenance,” Yunho said.  
  
Jaejoong opened his eyes in time to see Yunho licking come from his fingers. Jaejoong moaned as it dripped to his chin and then to his chest.  
  
“Not completely unpleasant,” he said. “It is much saltier than sustenance, but the color and texture are similar. I wonder if I mixed it with ice cream ...”  
  
“Oh god,” Jaejoong muttered at that image.  
  
“It would definitely be close to comparable.”  
  
Jaejoong flung his arm over his eyes. He’d just had one of the best orgasms of his life and Yunho was talking about food.  
  
And that is why this could never work. He sighed.  
  
“I have upset you again,” Yunho said, leaning over him. His arm went under Jaejoong’s head, his hand soft on Jaejoong’s chest.  
  
“No,” Jaejoong said. “Just ... the situation.”

“Situation?”  
  
“Yes. That felt very good.”  
  
“I enjoyed touching you. Thank you for letting me explore. This is pleasure? Sexual pleasure? My touches pleasured you?”  
  
Jaejoong huffed out an almost painful laugh. “It was pleasurable for me. But was it for you?”  
  
Yunho tilted his head. “I just said I enjoyed it.”  
  
“Yes, but did your dick get hard?”  
  
Yunho frowned, and then nodded. “Ah, I see the problem. You feel upset because you did not pleasure me.”  
  
“No. Sort of ... I ... I am upset because you did not get pleasure from pleasuring me. Enjoyment, sure to learn, but not ... not pleasure. Not in this way.”  
  
Yunho pouted. “I ... I am unsure ...” He rolled off Jaejoong abruptly, almost twisting Jaejoong’s neck. He fell to the bed and then shucked off his sweatpants. He was not hard. But his dick was so long. “I am unsure if I can produce this substance. My body does not sweat or need to use the bathroom, but this ...”  
  
His hand curled first around his balls, and then over his dick. He frowned a little bit. “It feels only like I am touching myself ... I mean, it does feel good but it does not feel like anything.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled and said, “Let me try.”  
  
“You wish to touch me?”  
  
Jaejoong grinned and leaned over to kiss his chest, right by his nipple. “I have always wanted to touch you.” He rubbed his hand firmly down on Yunho’s erection, cupping both balls and cock in his hand. Yeah, he was soft, but Jaejoong felt him expanding. Probably too much. Before he could talk himself out of it, Jaejoong leaned down and sucked it into his mouth. All of it, rolling his tongue around the head and using his lips to massage the shaft.  
  
It took longer than a normal guy, but eventually, Jaejoong was sucking on the growing erection to where he could no longer get it all in his mouth. His hand went to Yunho’s balls, tugging on them firmly.  
  
Yunho moaned. The noise startled him. And he gasped, “What is ... this?”  
  
Jaejoong mentally smirked and answered, _The blowjob of your life._ Well maybe. Yunho’s dick was huge. Stupid alien. Of course, it was larger than a normal guy. Still, Jaejoong did his best, slipping as much as it into his throat as he could, stretching his lips wide around the shaft and pausing to breathe before sliding back up. His hand alternated between balls and shaft, stroking up, slick with spit, and going back down.  
  
Yunho’s entire body shook. His cries were loud enough that Jaejoong worried about the neighboring rooms, but as Jaejoong figured, Yunho did not last long. He was shuddering through an orgasm, cock twitching and throbbing, before almost exploding, filling Jaejoong’s mouth with something that didn’t taste nearly as bad as come did. The texture was the same. But without the harshness, it was very easy to swallow, very easy to keep playing, until Yunho whimpered and pulled at his arm.  
  
“That ... that ...”  
  
Jaejoong crawled up to his mouth and smiled. “Did you learn something?”  
  
Yunho nodded. “Your mouth is exquisite.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Thank you, and you’re welcome.”  
  
Yunho shut his eyes. Jaejoong easily curled up against his side, and then rubbed his erection against Yunho’s thigh. “Feel that? That is what I mean. Giving you pleasure, sucking on your huge cock, turns me on. It makes me want more, it makes me want to touch you more. It just ... this is what giving pleasure is about. My pleasure should increase yours, and yours should increase mine.”  
  
“I have never ... never felt anything like that before.” Yunho swallowed. “If that is the result of giving you an orgasm, then I will do it all day long.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “That’s the idea.”  
  
“Your ... cock ...” He thought of that word, the first he’d said it, and nodded, “Your cock was not hard after I had pleasured you. Now it is.”  
  
“That’s because after, we were talking. And now, I just got done pleasuring you, so it’s hard again.”  
  
“I ... mine is not going soft ...”  
  
“That’s not a bad thing, you know. It just means that I get to give you another orgasm.”  
  
“That felt so amazing.”  
  
“So did your dick in my mouth. I want to see how much of it I can get into my throat.”  
  
“Is that ...” He huffed. “I saw many erections on pornography, but not all of the women can suck all of them. Some are large.”  
  
“Like yours,” Jaejoong almost purred, both hands stroking up and down his shaft. “I love having a big dick in my mouth, lips stretched wide. I want to suck on all of it.”  
  
Yunho shivered. “Do you think you can?”  
  
Jaejoong smirked. “Maybe. There’s only one way to find out.”  
  
“So we can do this again because all I can think about is your skin and your touch and your lovely mouth.”  
  
Jaejoong crawled on top of him, hands cupping his cheeks. “My lovely mouth, huh?”  
  
“Yes. Lovely.”  
  
Jaejoong leaned over him and pressed their lips together. A kiss. Something Yunho did understand from dramas. He did not let Yunho pull away, but led him through a kiss that was probably heavier than necessary for their first. But Yunho caught on, their tongues brushing, their teeth pulling at lips for a moment, and then back to a heavy kiss. The sweet kisses were only to gather their breath a bit, surge back into something more than heavy. And insane.  
  
This wasn’t Jaejoong smartest moment, but it was all Yunho’s fault anyway, for being so sexy, so adorably clueless, so fucking huge. He wanted that cock inside him almost as much as he wanted more kisses.


	5. Jedi Mind Tricks

Yunho’s hands slid up and down his back, to his ass, fingers gripping tight, and then sliding through the cleft. Jaejoong moaned, small thrusts encouraging the touches, their erections sliding along skin that grew damp from Jaejoong’s sweat.  
  
“There is still more to show you,” Jaejoong whispered. “Interested in making some porn with me?”  
  
Yunho’s eyes widened and he nodded.  
  
“Good, but also bad,” Jaejoong said with a moan.

“Why bad?”  
  
“Because I need lube. Lubricant. If you’ve watched enough porn, you know why I need it.”  
  
Yunho tilted his head in thought and nodded. “My hardened penis is too big to fit easily inside your small receptacle.”  
  
Jaejoong snorted out a laugh, one that turned into heavier chuckles, and finally full blow gasping breaths.  
  
Yunho frowned. “Was that a joke?”  
  
“Your dick is a joke. Hell.”  
  
“I thought you said you liked it.”  
  
“I do. God, I do. I have a serious huge-cock kink. I’m going to love it stretching me open and thrusting up into me, but I definitely need lube for that.” Jaejoong shook his head and kissed him quickly. “I don’t have any and I need to run to the store to go buy some.”  
  
“I will come with you.”  
  
“No. Just ... stay. Please. I’ll be back in less than ten minutes.” Jaejoong had no idea what Yunho’s lack of a filter would say while they were buying lube.  
  
“I don’t want you to go. Are you sure we cannot have sex without lube?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “Not with that cock. I’m not even going to try. If we do, you may end up hurting me and making me bleed.”  
  
Yunho’s eyes widened and he shook his head. “I do not want to do that.”  
  
“Same. I’ll be super quick, okay?”  
  
Yunho frowned. “Okay. I will wait for you.”  
  
Jaejoong rolled off the bed and hurried to the bathroom, just long enough to clean the come off his body. He went back to the bedroom and found his clothes strewn everywhere. With a grin as he pulled on sweatpants and then his t-shirt, no underwear, he said, “Stroke yourself. Get that baby hard because I am going to sit on it and ride it as soon as I get back.”  
  
Yunho grinned widely at him, putting his hand on his cock right away.  
  
Jaejoong watched him, shut his eyes with a heavy moan, and left the room, remembering just in time to get his wallet from the table. He practically ran to the convenience store.  
  
At the store, Jaejoong also bought some snacks, soda, and soju, and a new set of headphones, because one of his goats had actually eaten the last pair. He didn’t want to just buy lube. That was all sorts of embarrassing.  
  
With his purchases in a bag, Jaejoong left the small store and headed back toward the motel.  
  
Just around the corner, his smile fell and he stopped, coming face to face with two of the alien authorities. He glanced at the motel and saw the other three just outside of it. Jaejoong swallowed.  
  
“What do you want? Are you done with my house yet?”  
  
The woman looked at the man.  
  
The man looked at Jaejoong, lips pursed. “We have been unable to find our prisoner.”  
  
Jaejoong almost sagged in relief. “Well, that sucks for you dickfaces. Did you feed my goats, assholes?”  
  
“Your animals are fine.”  
  
“That doesn’t mean you fed them.”  
  
“We wanted to ask you again if you have seen this man.” She held up the same tablet. The same more-generic version of Yunho looked back at him. Paler skin. Darker eyes. Almost black. Featureless.  
  
“As I said before, no. I did not see him.”  
  
“We checked your hotel room.”  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “Invasive, but I guess that’s normal for the people that commandeered my house.”  
  
“We are certain he was there.”  
  
“Maybe he broke in when I left. You didn’t leave me with much more to do than eat out and jog. But he’s not there now?”  
  
“Not now, no.”  
  
Jaejoong fought back a breath of relief. “Well, then good for him. It means you guys suck at your job. Can I go home or not?”  
  
“We must search the city now. Yes, you may go home.”  
  
“Are you assholes going to leave me alone now?”  
  
“You are no longer of concern to us. We will release you of your duties and your memories, and you will be returned--”  
  
“Wait, my memories?”  
  
“No one on Earth is supposed to believe in other lifeforms. We suspect that you already know. This is just to make sure. Even if you are lying, we will still find him. But we cannot have you warning him either.”  
  
Before Jaejoong could refuse, a blue light filled his head, and his body tingled, and he ended up on the floor of his kitchen, retching in misery, with a bagful of snacks he didn’t exactly like, soju, and lube. And headphones. What the hell?  
  
He sat up quickly, trying to figure out what was going on. Why was he in the kitchen? It was dark, the middle of the night. His goats were bleating and there was a weird humming. A light streaked past a window, and Jaejoong staggered to his feet. Why was he wearing sweats and a T-shirt? Had he gone to the store?  
  
There was something wrong. Something ... someone ... no, just. He pressed his palms to his eyes and growled. He wasn’t drunk. He wasn’t ... stoned. God, when was the last time he’d ever done something more potent than a joint?  
  
He checked his pockets for his phone. It wasn’t there. Weird. He never went anywhere without his phone. He stumbled in the dark and turned on the kitchen light, and then the living room light.  
  
Everything was the same. Everything was normal.  
  
Another light swept over the front window. Jaejoong stumbled to the front of his house, flinging the door open. Was it a car? Had someone just dropped him off? Could they tell him what was going on?  
  
There was no car in his gravel driveway. There was no light. No sound. Nothing.  
  
The goats kept bleating.  
  
He stood in the dark, turned and flicked the porch light. The light did not come on. Burned out. Fuck.  
  
He stood for another moment, and then saw something weird.  
  
A hole in his front porch. Not a small one. A huge one, that looked like someone or something had dropped a boulder onto it. But it was empty.  
  
Jaejoong backed away from it and staggered into his house, fell onto his couch and tried to remember what the hell happened. But all he remembered was going to bed. Setting his alarm at the normal time before dawn to milk his goats and feed the chickens before the rooster, Drama King, started crowing, But it was hours before dawn. Why was he awake? Why was he dressed in sweats and a T-shirt?  
  
Had he been sleepwalking?  
  
Jaejoong surged up from the couch with a growl and went to find his phone. It was plugged in, where it should be, and flashing with a blue light to let him know he had a message.  
  
He touched the screen to flare it open, and then gasped. He had more than sixty missed calls, ten text messages, and a ton of voicemails.  
  
They were all from Yoochun, his best friend, and probably the only person that ever called him:  
  
_Hey, bro. What are you doing?  
Obviously ignoring my texts. Hell. Answer me.  
Answer meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  
Why aren’t you answering my texts? Did you fall asleep after jerking off too much?  
A goat ate your phone? Oh god, that’s hilarious.  
You’re such a dumbass.  
Just realized you won’t get these messages for awhile. Or if ever. Ha!  
Dumbass. Your goats are always eating everything. I swear they are zombies in disguise.  
Call me. I left you a voicemail too. We’re supposed to go drinking this weekend. You promised me.  
I don’t know what’s going on, but you need to call me._  
  
Jaejoong suddenly realized that the dates did not match up. The text messages were spanning six days. The first few were ... are ... from tomorrow. Today? This morning? But they were from the afternoon. The next one ... five days from now.  
  
Jaejoong swiped his phone again. The date was ... May 16. What?  
  
He glanced at it again. Five days. He ... lost ... How ... what the hell?  
  
Fearful, he went to his voicemail and listened to Yoochun’s message.  
  
_A goat ate your phone. Are you serious? You are such a dumbass. When you get this message, call me back.  
  
Dude, where are you? I’ve called like fifty times. You’re starting to worry me. Call me back.  
  
Did your goats eat you? Did they finally turn into the carnivorous horde of zombie-goats like I’ve always been predicting? Call me. Please.  
  
Jaejoong! Shit, hyung. Where are you?  
  
I tried to come to your house. I left with that intention, and then I found myself back at my house. I did this twice today. What is going on? Call me.  
  
This isn’t funny anymore. If I haven’t heard from you by the weekend, I am calling the cops. Please call me. I’m worried. I can’t come to your house. This is ridiculous.  
  
Dude. I am really worried about you. Please, please call me._  
  
Shaking, Jaejoong checked the time. It was three in the morning.  
  
He didn’t care. He was terrified. He dialed Yoochun’s number.  
  
Yoochun answered almost immediately. “Jaejoong? Shit. Jaejoong?”  
  
Jaejoong tried to swallow. “I ... Yoochun-ah. I ...”  
  
“Are you hurt? Where are you?”  
  
He was crying. “Home. I’m ... home. Yoochun-ah. I don’t know ... help.”  
  
“Shit, are you hurt?”  
  
“No, but ... something ... missing. Something’s missing. I’m going crazy.”  
  
“I’m coming. Right now. Don’t hang up. This is so fucking weird, don’t hang up.”

“I won’t. I won’t.”

“Tell me. Talk, Kim Jaejoong. Talk.”  
  
“I ... went to bed, last night. Last night. It was the tenth. I swear. May ten. One. Zero. So today ... today should be the eleventh. It should ... Yoochun-ah, I don’t know what’s going on.”  
  
“I’ll be there soon. What do you remember?”  
  
“Nothing. I went to bed. I woke up in my kitchen, standing, a bag ... food, snacks, lube, soju. Just ...”  
  
“Lube?”  
  
“Don’t you fucking make a sex joke, Park Yoochun.”  
  
“No, I just ... Did you get my messages?”

“Yes. I’m on my phone.”  
  
“But a goat ate your phone?”  
  
“But ... no it didn’t. It was in my room, right where I plugged it in.”  
  
“Your answering machine said a goat ate your phone. You’ve been gone for almost a week, Jaejoong.”

“I ... what?”  
  
“I’ve been trying to get ahold of you and come to your house for five days.”  
  
Jaejoong started crying, deep sobs that he could not stop. Something was missing! This did not make any sense.  
  
“Hey, calm down. I’ll be there soon. I’ll be there soon. I promise. I’m on my way. Ten minutes.”  
  
Jaejoong managed to say, “You’d have to fly to get here that fast.”  
  
“Then I hope I sprout wings. Hang on.”  
  
Jaejoong tried to remember. “There’s ... a hole. A huge hole in my porch. LIke a rock fell on it. Like huge.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“And ... before, before I ... I called you there were lights. Like headlights, but bluer, but no car. Just ... the goats were bleating like mad, and JiJi ... JiJi ... Shit. JiJi!”  
  
Jaejoong abandoned his phone and went out to find his cat. He was not in the house. Nowhere in the house, and then he went outside and called for him.  
  
Everything was eerily quiet.  
  
He felt like he was being watched.  
  
Scrambling back inside, he went to his room, and then picked up his phone.  
  
“JiJi isn’t here.”  
  
Yoochun huffed. “He’s a smart cat. He’ll be back. Don’t worry about him too much. Still can’t believe you named your cat ‘penis’ in Chinese.”  
  
“Still can’t believe you’re saying that after five years.”  
  
Yoochun chuckled.  
  
Jaejoong was quiet for a long time, just breathing.  
  
“You still there?”  
  
“Yeah. This ... is so weird. I feel like ... something is missing. Not just the last few days, but something important. I can’t ... I can’t figure it out, Yoochun-ah. What the fuck happened?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Yoochun said. “Maybe you were abducted by aliens?”  
  
“Park Yoochun, shut the fuck up!”  
  
Yoochun laughed. “Better than being eaten by zombie goats.”  
  
“Yeah. I guess.”  
  
“I’m glad you’re okay though.”  
  
Jaejoong wondered for a moment if he really was okay.  
  
Yoochun spent the rest of the phone call talking about his work and how his coworker was still straight even after Yoochun offered him sexual favors. When Yoochun arrived, Jaejoong met him outside and hugged him tightly. Yoochun was crying.  
  
Jaejoong swallowed and tried not to cry again. They held each other until Yoochun calmed down.  
  
“You are not allowed to ever leave ever again without my permission.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “Okay. I promise. Maybe, but I can’t remember leaving, so technically--”  
  
“Shut up. You promised”  
  
Jaejoong showed him the hole in his porch.  
  
His only response was, “Dude. That’s ... weird.”  
  
Yoochun told him all about how he had been determined to come to his house and then found himself home or at the store or at a park instead. It happened almost every day.  
  
Weird. It was the only word they could both agree on.  
  
Yoochun also reminded him that he’d only replaced the bulb on the porch about a month ago, it made no sense that it was already burned out. He showed Yoochun the bag of groceries that he’d arrived with.  
  
Arrived. Just ... appeared. Suddenly aware ... standing in the middle of the kitchen.  
  
“Well, at least there’s alcohol. You really need that. The lube is a nice touch.”  
  
“I’m going to hit you.”  
  
Yoochun snorted. “Have a drink instead.” He propped open a bottle of soju and handed it to Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong rarely drank soju alone. Especially not a six pack. Had he been meaning to share? That felt right, but he couldn’t remember.  
  
“I can’t remember anything. What ... what is wrong with me?”  
  
“Sounds like aliens.”  
  
“Sounds like I’m going crazy.”  
  
Yoochun took out his phone. “Listen to this, very carefully.”  
  
Yoochun called Jaejoong’s phone; it rang on the counter between them. He put the call on speaker and they waited until his answering machine said:  
  
_Hey everyone, but especially Yoochun, since you call me the most, it’s Jaejoong. One of my goats somehow pulled my phone out of my pocket and ate it. I’m not going to be able to get another one until next Monday. Leave a message, but please understand if I don’t get back to you for a week or so. I don’t have another phone at the farm. Later._  
  
Yoochun stared at him. “How were you able to change that on Tuesday when you don’t have another phone here, and now it’s Sunday morning?”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “I don’t ... I don’t know. I don’t remember doing that at all.”  
  
“I didn’t start to get worried until I couldn’t get to your house. I tried, like twice a day, and every time, I’d drive out here, get to your driveway and then end up at the park. Or right back at my house.”  
  
“This makes no sense, Yoochun-ie.”  
  
“Aliens,” he said again. He stared at Jaejoong for a long time. “I’m not sure if this is a good time to bring this up, but you have a hicky on your neck.”  
  
Jaejoong gasped. “What?”  
  
“Right here, on your left side. It’s pretty dark too.”  
  
Jaejoong spun around and rushed to the bathroom. Sure enough, right at the base of his neck, almost on his collarbone. Someone had not only sucked on him, but bit him too. There were faint teeth marks just on the underside of the hicky. He covered it with his hand and sort of remembered being touched.  
  
_Explored?_  
  
“Fuck, Yoochun, fuck.” He met Yoochun’s eyes in the mirror.  
  
“Still sounds like aliens.”  
  
Jaejoong gasped out a painful laugh and turned away from the mirror, leaning against the sink. Jaejoong tried to smile. “Shit, this ... makes ... fuck. I don’t want to be alone. Stay over?”  
  
Yoochun nodded. “You didn’t even need to ask. I’m not letting you out of my sight until I have to.” He held out his hand, and Jaejoong left the bathroom and fell into Yoochun who hugged him tightly.  
  
Jaejoong almost cried because he remembered this feeling, being hugged and held, but not by Yoochun ... by someone else. Someone strong. His body remembered even if his brain couldn’t. Maybe. Maybe he was just going crazy.  
  
Yoochun did not need Jaejoong to understand that he did not want to sleep alone, and they slipped into Jaejoong’s bed together, Yoochun’s arm around his stomach. It felt ... normal. But not quite what his body was used to.  
  
Jaejoong did not sleep until almost dawn, and then his alarm went off.  
  
Yoochun grumbled next to him, and Jaejoong smiled, patting his best friend on the head. “Sleep. I’m going to go take care of my goats.”  
  
After dressing, Jaejoong opened the front door and almost cried in relief when JiJi streaked by him and into the house, yowling at the injustice of being left outside when he wanted inside.  
  
“I missed you too, you stupid cat.”  
  
Except Jaejoong didn’t. Because he couldn’t remember.  
  
He went first to the chicken coop, spreading feed out for them. They pounced on it. But not like they had been starved for days. He worried about his goats, if he hadn’t milked them for days, but when he arrived at their pen, his nannies were all normal, and he milked the normal amount of milk from all of them. The kids kept trying to jump all over him. The billies were restless, but all of the goats were calmer than last night. Or earlier.  
  
The morning sun rose steadily through the next couple of hours as he moved around his farm to make sure everything was okay. He checked a few other chores, noting a few of his vegetables that had been picked, that he did not remember picking. And someone had weeded. He hated weeding. And mended the fence around the vegetables that was meant to keep out the rabbits.  
  
Maybe he had fallen over ... hurt his head ... amnesia. Maybe he’d go to the doctor. See if he had signs of a concussion. The hole in his porch was yawning, huge. The broken pieces of wood lay underneath, like something heavy just landed on it, sheared the wood off, and then got up and walked away. Or rolled away.  
  
Jaejoong glanced at the roof. The roof above the hole was not damaged. Whatever had hit it, had to have come at the perfect angle to miss the roof over the porch and just slam into the deck.  
  
Jaejoong sighed and shook his head, and went inside.  
  
Yoochun grunted at him from the kitchen. He already had coffee brewed.  
  
“If it was aliens, they were nice enough to milk my goats, feed the chickens, weed my garden and fix my fence.”  
  
Jaejoong sat down heavily, and JiJi jumped in his lap, still yowling at him. Jaejoong smiled and petted him until he was purring.  
  
“That cat has definitely not seen you in five days.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “This is so fucked up.”  
  
Yoochun nodded. “No doubt. Now what?”  
  
“I think I’ll go to the doctor and make sure I didn’t fall in that hole in my porch and knock myself out or something.”  
  
“That makes more sense than zombie goats, but I’m still saying aliens.”  
  
“Asshole aliens.”  
  
Yoochun snorted. “Hey, they milked your goats.”  
  
“I don’t even want to know what they did to me.”  
  
“Based on the hicky, I’m going to say probes?” Yoochun lifted an eyebrow.  
  
“Oh, god, shut up.”  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
Jaejoong was still off kilter for a few days. Yoochun stayed over until Tuesday morning after calling in sick to work on Monday. It also wasn’t until Tuesday morning, after Yoochun left, that Jaejoong realized almost half his clothes were gone.  
  
Just ... gone ...  
  
Had he gone on a trip?  
  
He shook his head. God, nothing made sense. Better to just continue on. And schedule an appointment with a doctor.  
  
He went in on Thursday, briefly explained that he was missing a few days where he could not remember anything. He had tests and a CT scan, but everything was normal. No concussion. No alien probes in his brain.  
  
Yoochun: _So no zombie goats. No alien probes. Amnesia from amazing sex? Is that a thing? There’s no way you got a hicky that big and dark on your neck without amazing sex involved._  
  
Jaejoong shook his head and refused to answer that question with anything more than a _I really hate you._  
  
Yoochun sent him back hearts.  
  
Just get on with life. That’s all.  
  
But he was jumpy. He had a carpenter come and look at the porch. It could be fixed, but it would take a lot money. Jaejoong sighed. He did not have money for that. Maybe he’d just get a really big potted plant.  
  
Just get on with life.  
  
Sometimes, when he went on the porch at night, he felt like he was being watched. Other times, he felt utterly alone.  
  
So alone.  
  
He could not stop his tears on those days.  
  
Jaejoong tried to spend more time in town. He made a habit of going to a local cafe every morning instead of having coffee at his house. Maybe he could afford to fix the porch, but being out felt more important.  
  
He went out with Yoochun more often. Drinking, dancing. Men tried to ask him out, others tried to kiss him on the dancefloor, but nothing felt right anymore. He’d never been promiscuous and found that nothing could change that. Even soju.  
  
“I swear those aliens did something to you,” Yoochun muttered one night over a shared bottle on a shared table in one of their favorite bars. “What was wrong with that guy? He is going gaga over your ass.”  
  
Jaejoong sighed. “Nothing is wrong with me, I just ... I don’t want to be fucked and ... I want to be ...”  
  
“Romanced?”  
  
“Maybe.”  
  
“Well, you aren’t going to find the romance sort of guys at a dive like this.”  
  
“Including you?”  
  
Yoochun pouted. “The only one worthy of my romance is Changmin. But the fucker is still straight.”  
  
Jaejoong wondered if there really was someone out there who was worthy of his romance.  
  



	6. Shake Your Spaceship Candy

Jaejoong sipped on a creamy latte that had hints of vanilla and chai in it, his eyes on the book opened on his table. It was an interesting story about a boy who’d been transported to another world and then had to save the world. A bit cliche, but better than some of the others Jaejoong had read in the same genre. He turned a page and took a sip of his coffee.  
  
“Excuse me?” a soft male voice whispered.  
  
Jaejoong glanced up into beautiful dark eyes. Brown, deep, deep brown. The man was tall, with golden brown hair styled up off his small face. He had such a pretty smile, small cupid bow lips. There was a faint beauty mark above one lip. Dark skin. He wore dark blue jeans and a really nice blue button down that looked like the sky just before dusk. Thrown over it was a soft, gray leather coat.  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “Yes?”  
  
“I ...” The man clenched one hand in a fist at his side. The coffee cup in his other hand trembled slightly. He was obviously nervous. “I was hoping to share your table.”  
  
Jaejoong glanced around the small cafe. It was mostly empty, so the man had an agenda. He was handsome. Jaejoong did not mind agendas from handsome men.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
The man huffed a breath of relief and quickly sat down. He settled his own coffee cup on the table.  
  
“I’m Kim Jaejoong,” he said. “What’s your name, handsome?”  
  
The man looked up, startled, and then he smiled. “Handsome?”  
  
“I won’t believe you if you tell me you don’t think you’re handsome.”  
  
“I ... yes, I ... I just can’t ... I hoped that you would think so.”  
  
The man had sat across from him without even knowing if Jaejoong would be receptive to his agenda. That always took guts.  
  
“Your name?” Jaejoong prompted.  
  
“Yunho. Jung Yunho.”  
  
Jaejoong bowed his head a little. “It is very nice to meet you, Jung Yunho-shi.”  
  
Yunho’s smile widened even further. “You ... you too.”  
  
The man was super nervous. Jaejoong smiled and hoped to ease the tension.  
  
Yunho stared in awe for moment longer and then said, “I ... I’ve seen you ... a few times. Here at the cafe, and I ... I was hoping. Well I was hoping to ask you out for coffee, but ... this ..” He waved a hand at their table with coffee.  
  
Jaejoong chuckled. “Coffee is good, but ... dinner? Tomorrow night? I’ll meet you someplace.”  
  
The man smiled and said, “Sure. I’d ... I’d like that ...”  
  
Yunho,” Jaejoong mused. “I like that name. U. N. O.”  
  
Yunho’s head shot up. Eyes wide. “What?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Nothing. Just English letters that spell your name. U. N. O.”  
  
Yunho swallowed roughly. “Oh, yeah. I ... I haven’t learned English yet beyond a few words.”  
  
“I know a little. My best friend is almost fluent. He lived in America for awhile.”  
  
“What are you reading?”  
  
Jaejoong showed him the title and then said, “It’s not nearly as important as you though.”  
  
The man’s cheeks flushed, and Jaejoong thought that was rather cute.  
  
“I ... apologize. I ...” He looked at the tabletop. “I garnered up the courage to speak with you and then did not spend time thinking of things to actually discuss.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “That’s okay. You did the hard part. I don’t mind making conversation. Where do you work?”  
  
“I moved here recently, but I am working part-time at a dance studio until I can become an instructor or open my own dance studio.”  
  
“Dance?”  
  
Yunho nodded. “I like to dance. The movements are enjoyable.”  
  
“I’m mostly accident prone,” Jaejoong said. “Not much rhythm at all. But I do love music. One of the joys of my farm is that I can sing as loud as I want and only disturb the goats.”  
  
“Farm?” Yunho asked with a smile.  
  
Jaejoong chuckled. “Yes. I have a small farm just outside of town.” He told Yunho all about his family history and the goats and chickens. He talked about JiJi, too.  
  
“Your farm also sounds enjoyable.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Maybe if things go well, you can come and visit.”  
  
He cleared his throat and nodded. “I would like that very much. You are very beautiful and I wish I had attempted to talk to you sooner.”  
  
Jaejoong felt himself blush and lifted his coffee cup.  
  
“When were you born?” Yunho suddenly asked.  
  
Jaejoong cleared his throat. “Eighty six, in January.”  
  
“Same, but February. That makes you my hyung.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “That makes you my friend.”  
  
Yunho’s smile widened even further.  
  
Jaejoong let silence fall for a little while. The man was different, obviously so, but not unkind. He had a very pretty smile, and Jaejoong sensed a hidden enthusiasm for learning and laughing. He was a bit strange. Gorgeous. Absolutely breathtakingly handsome.  
  
“You said you moved here recently, from where?”  
  
“Um, I lived in Seoul. The city is nice, but this smaller city is much better.”  
  
“I agree with that. I lived right in the middle of Gangnam for a little while. I love the farm and the solitude a lot more.” But that wasn’t as true anymore. Jaejoong still felt a gaping loneliness when he let himself think about it. He cleared his throat. “I come to the cafe because the goats don’t talk back.”  
  
“That would be very strange if they did talk back to you.”  
  
“Some days I already feel like I’ve gone crazy, so maybe it wouldn’t be so surprising if one of them started talking to me.”  
  
Yunho tilted his head, biting his lip, but did not ask about that. Maybe he thought it was too personal. Jaejoong probably shouldn’t have said it, but he had a hard time keeping his mouth shut sometimes. Especially when he felt so perfectly comfortable with them. Had it been so long since he last had the attentions of a gorgeous man that he was already smiling and happy just talking to one? It’d only been ten minutes!  
  
“Yoochun, my friend, calls them alien, zombie goats. He thinks they’re all psycho and hungry.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Do you believe in aliens? In zombies?”  
  
“Zombies? Definitely not. Aliens?” He shrugged. “The universe is huge. It would be weird if Earth was the only planet that had intelligent life. That makes no sense.”  
  
Yunho nodded. “There have to be other worlds.”  
  
“We won’t know for sure, not in our lifetime,” Jaejoong said, “but maybe soon our technology will increase and we’ll be able to contact them.”  
  
“I don’t even know what to say to someone I think is beautiful,” Yunho said, glancing away. “I wonder what I’d say to an alien.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Please don’t abduct me, probably.”  
  
He really did not want to talk about this. His momentary scare a few months ago was creeping up on him. Jaejoong finished his coffee. He glanced down at his book for a moment, trying to think of something else to talk about. It was so strange. He felt like this was not the first conversation that he had with Yunho. He felt like he knew everything about him.  
  
“I should go,” Yunho said. “Let you get back to your book.”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head and put the book into his bag along with his laptop and phone. “What book? Let’s take a walk. If you have time, I mean.”  
  
“I have time. All the time.”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled. “Me, too. I don’t need to feed my goats until later on in the evening.”  
  
Yunho stood first, held out a hand, and then took it back with a jerky motion. Jaejoong grinned and stood up. Yunho was taller than him. Almost the perfect height. It’d be very easy to tilt up his head and kiss him. And he was strong. Broad shoulders, nice biceps. The shirt was stretched over his chest, and the jeans almost painted on his thighs. God, how had Jaejoong missed that? Right, because of his face. God, he was beautiful.  
  
They left the cafe together and Jaejoong walked them toward the nearby park. Yunho walked next to him, smiling as he looked around them.  
  
“I love to be outside,” Yunho said suddenly. “It’s so different, so ... beautiful. Everything just smells good and looks bright and colorful. I cannot get over it.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “That’s why I like my farm. I had a job in an office building where the nearest window was clear across the room where everyone else worked. Being outside ... it’s almost ...”  
  
“Freedom,” Yunho whispered. “Like you can do whatever you want when you’re outside.”  
  
“Well, almost everything. I doubt others would look too kindly on you if you started jerking off in a park full of children.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “That is so against social customs!”  
  
“And the law. You’d be thrown in jail.”  
  
Yunho’s smile fell and he frowned, almost curling in on himself.  
  
Jaejoong stopped. “What? Are you a criminal?”  
  
“No,” Yunho said. “I ... I don’t like tight spaces, small rooms, that’s all.”  
  
Jaejoong did not really believe him. Did he? Cautiously, he continued walking. Yunho was a little strange, but not ... not ... he did not behave, act, or smile the way a criminal would have. Maybe not. Jaejoong did not know any criminals.  
  
“I know I said we’d go to dinner tomorrow,” Jaejoong said, “but I’m hungry enough for lunch.” He pointed across the park to a series of street vendors. “Should we go eat?”  
  
“I love to eat. Food is so good.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “I will take that as a yes.”  
  
As they walked across the park, Yunho kept reaching for his hand and then moving away with a nervous step. Jaejoong wanted to hold his hand. He wanted to hug him. He wanted to see just how perfectly their bodies fit together, both with clothes and without.  
  
But he didn’t even know the man, so he used his hand and hefted the strap of his bag, leaving it there without actually denying Yunho.  
  
Who pouted.  
  
Jaejoong turned his head against a smile. Yunho was really cute. Handsome and adorable, and courteous?  
  
God, he was in trouble.  
  
Yunho paid for his lunch, even though Jaejoong protested. He led the way to a bench nearby and they sat almost too close and ate. Their conversation focused around food because it was easy and a subject they both enjoyed. And then Jaejoong found out that Yunho loved dramas. The cornier the better. He laughed for a long time, even leaning his head against Yunho’s shoulder without realizing it. He hoped his blush afterward was hidden by the glow of the sun.  
  
They walked around the park for a little longer, until the afternoon sun told Jaejoong he had to get back to his farm to feed his goats. They exchanged phone numbers after Yunho had walked Jaejoong back to his car.  
  
Jaejoong smiled at him and held out his hand.  
  
Yunho took it eagerly, fingers gentle, a soft touch on his palm.  
  
“I’ve had a lot of fun today,” Jaejoong said. “I’m very glad that you had the courage to come and talk to me.”  
  
“Me too. It was ... difficult. I was not sure if you’d even say hello.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled and tugged on the hand a little. “Dinner tomorrow?”  
  
Yunho nodded. “At the ramen place.” He waved his hand in its direction.  
  
“One of my favorites. What time? Seven? Eight?”  
  
Yunho shrugged. “You pick. I only work until five.”  
  
“Let’s say seven. It will give us time to eat and talk before I drag you to a club to see you dance afterward.”  
  
His smile widened. “I’d love to dance with you.”  
  
Jaejoong grinned. “Okay. See you tomorrow.”  
  
“I’m looking forward to it.”  
  
Jaejoong got into his car. Yunho watched, smiled one more time, waved and turned to walk the other way.  
  
Jaejoong watched him. God, those jeans just hugged his thighs.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
Jaejoong wondered if he was overdressed. Not that he necessarily minded, but it’d been a long time since he had a date. He wore a pair of pinstriped slacks, a lavender shirt, open at the collar and a suit jacket. He dolled up his face a little with eyeliner and BB cream and lip gloss, and made sure his jewelry sparkled.  
  
Grinning, he took a selca and sent it to Yoochun. _Guess who has a date?_  
  
The response was almost immediate. _Fuck, damn! Dressed to get undressed. You look amazing._  
  
Jaejoong flushed. He hadn’t necessarily worn this to get undressed, but ... well, maybe. Yunho was sexy.  
  
_What’s his name?_  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. _Nope. I’ll tell you if tonight goes well. I don’t want you to jinx me._  
  
_I hate you._  
  
Jaejoong laughed. With a light hearted step, he left his house, got in his car and drove to town and the restaurant. He was a few minutes early, but he spotted Yunho waiting for him outside. He pulled into a spot and climbed out of the car.  
  
Yunho saw him and waved, and then his smile fell and his mouth dropped open.  
  
Jaejoong tried not to tug at his clothes.  
  
Yunho looked almost sinful. He was wearing a perfectly tailored suit, complete with a red and orange tie that reminded Jaejoong of the sunset. Perfectly styled hair, brushed up and gelled off his forehead.  
  
Handsome. God, so handsome. Sexy.  
  
Jaejoong’s knees went weak and he bit back a whimper.  
  
“You look ... divine,” Yunho almost breathed.  
  
Jaejoong smiled and said a mental fuck it. If he wasn’t getting laid tonight, he was going to by the end of the week. “You look edible,” he replied. “Sexy. Gorgeous.”  
  
Yunho flushed.  
  
They almost caused a scene when they entered together, a few of the hostesses and patrons stopping just to stare.  
  
Jaejoong did not blame the man behind the desk for sitting them at a table right in the middle of the restaurant. They looked good together. Being there obviously meant the restaurant was good and would show anyone walking by that they catered to well-dressed and possibly rich patrons.  
  
Yunho did not seem to notice any of that. He was very gracious and had no worries if it looked like they were on a date. He held out Jaejoong’s chair for him, scooted his own chair closer, and filled his wine when the bottle was brought over.  
  
Yunho held out his hand.  
  
Jaejoong looked down at it and then at him. He did not take it.  
  
Yunho frowned.  
  
“You don’t care that everyone knows we are on a date?” Jaejoong asked.  
  
Yunho glanced around like he hadn’t noticed the restaurant full of people before. “I understand your hesitation. Being gay is not an acceptable part of social customs.”  
  
“But?” Jaejoong asked.  
  
“You’re beautiful. I don’t care if everyone knows I think that way.”  
  
Jaejoong felt flushed. But also encouraged. He smiled and held out his hand, which Yunho eagerly took. There was a giggle from a table nearby. They only let go of their hands to finally look at the menu. Yunho wanted everything.  
  
Jaejoong laughed and pointed him to a bowl of ramen that had a lot of stuff in it. He motioned the waitress over, who blushed very prettily when Yunho complimented her jewelry. They ordered their food, and went right back to holding hands.  
  
“This is ... fast, isn’t it?” Yunho said, squeezing his hand.  
  
Jaejoong understood. “I know. Also very unlike me, but you are handsome, and I do not mind being on a date and holding hands with someone so handsome. And nice. And funny. And ...”  
  
Yunho smiled. “And ...?”  
  
“Edible.”  
  
He laughed, loudly for a moment, and then lowering the tone when he noticed people looking. They talked mostly about food. They drank wine. They ate and discussed the flavors of their meals.  
  
Yunho paid for their dinner, and Jaejoong frowned.  
  
“What?” Yunho asked as Jaejoong pulled him down the street.  
  
“You keep paying for everything. So the first shot is on me.”  
  
“Shot? What?”  
  
“We’re going dancing, remember?” He stopped only long enough to put his jacket in his car. Yunho did the same and left his tie as well, and Jaejoong grinned, the smile more inviting someone to his bed than to a club.  
  
Yunho swallowed roughly.  
  
The club was a bit of a walk, but the owners did not mind who came in or who danced there. Sometimes there were issues with straight guys trying to bait the gays, but mostly it was safe. The bouncer smiled at Jaejoong and then lifted an eyebrow at Yunho.  
  
“Wow.”  
  
“I know, right?” Jaejoong said, and pulled Yunho close, hand around his waist as they walked into the club. “And he’s mine.”  
  
“Lucky.”  
  
Yunho flushed but also put his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders. It was just for a moment before the setting of the club forced them to pull away, but Jaejoong kept ahold of his hand and dragged him to the bar for a shot of soju.  
  
Yunho almost choked on it, and Jaejoong laughed.  
  
“I don’t ... I don’t drink often,” Yunho whispered.  
  
“I’ll probably drink enough for both of us, then. Come on. Let’s dance. We’ll try to find a table later.”  
  
Yunho smiled and did not mind being led to the dance floor. He was moving to the beat before Jaejoong even stopped walking. They danced separately for a long time, but obviously together. No one else tried to come between them.  
  
“I thought you said you could not dance,” Yunho said over the music.  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “It’s the soju and the wine mostly.”  
  
Yunho shook his head. “You look very good dancing.”  
  
And Jaejoong caved, stepping close enough to almost kiss him. “I also look very good naked and writhing on a bed.”  
  
Yunho’s eyes widened, and Jaejoong laughed, pulling away a little bit, but Yunho got his hands around his waist and pulled him back and they danced even closer together. Jaejoong was sweating. Yunho was not. Jaejoong figured it was just because he was used to the exercise.  
  
“How soon before you will allow me to kiss you?” Yunho asked, almost breathlessly. Their dancing had turned more into grinding.  
  
Jaejoong smiled and said, “Oh, I’d say another five seconds is okay.”  
  
“Five, four, three ...”  
  
Jaejoong laughed, cupped his face and kissed him. Their bodies kept moving, and a moment later, their lips and tongues moved to the same beat.  
  
Yunho was a fantastic kisser, and Jaejoong moaned into his mouth, trying to curl closer to him. They kissed to the end of the song, and halfway through the next one before Yunho pulled away, breathless and gorgeous. The lights sparkled in his hair, his dark eyes were wide with lust, and Jaejoong wanted him so much.  
  
“I cannot ... I have so much passion for you. I cannot ... I do not want to go to jail for tearing our clothes off right here on the dance floor.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Glad I’m not the only one. Come on.” He led the way back to the bar where they both had another shot of soju and Jaejoong ordered two cocktails, fruity concoctions with enough alcohol to probably knock Jaejoong off his feet. Definitely Yunho. With drinks in hand, Jaejoong weaved through the tables to one near the back that was empty.  
  
They both sat down and Jaejoong sipped at his drink.  
  
Yunho did too, smiling at the flavors. “It’s very good.”  
  
“God, so is your body.”  
  
Yunho flushed under the dim lights from the dance floor and Jaejoong laughed.  
  
“My head is swimming,” Yunho said after a couple more sips, “but I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, or you.”  
  
Jaejoong pulled his chair closer, wrapping his legs up around Yunho’s, almost in his lap, and then put his arms around his neck for a kiss that Yunho gave him. He meant it as a peck, but it was much more than a peck. And enough to make Jaejoong’s head swim too.  
  
“I do not fuck on the first date,” Jaejoong said.  
  
“Yesterday was a date, too.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed and leaned his head against Yunho’s shoulder, face at his neck. He smelled ... he smelled like roses. Almost. It was a smell he knew, but couldn’t place.  
  
“I am so very bad at resisting when I want something so much,” Jaejoong said. “But I have to. I have to .... I want ...”  
  
“I want you.”  
  
Jaejoong shivered. “Same. I want you so badly, but I also want ... Romance, and ... shit, it’s too soon to talk about dating and boyfriends and ...”  
  
Yunho tilted his head back, hand soft on his cheek. “I would never say no to any form of sex with you. But that is not what I meant when I said I wanted you. You are beautiful, but you are also alluring, and sweet, and funny, and I want to ... I want to be with you every day. It is not just sex. Not ever. Not to me. Not when it comes to you. If it was, I would have approached you much sooner.”  
  
Jaejoong tried to think of a response to that and could not. Not anything more than a kiss anyway, one that Yunho returned just as eagerly.  
  
It all felt too good to be true.  
  
Maybe it was.  
  
But it felt so nice. So normal. So perfect.  
  
Jaejoong told his brain to shut up and let himself be kissed until his body was thrumming with so much more than alcohol.  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
By the end of the night, Jaejoong was too drunk to actually do more than kiss Yunho up against his car.  
  
Yunho assured him that he lived close enough to walk home, but Jaejoong did not. He had called Yoochun, and Yoochun had to work a normal work week, so on a Wednesday night, he was not drunk. Not like Jaejoong, whose vision was swimming.  
  
But that was mostly from Yunho’s mouth.  
  
When Yoochun arrived, Jaejoong was hard as a rock and riding Yunho’s thigh while they kissed deeply.  
  
“Wow, thanks for the jerk off material,” Yoochun said out the window.  
  
Jaejoong pulled away from Yunho’s mouth reluctantly. “Let us take you home.”  
  
Yunho shook his head. “The walk with help clear my head. I’ll be fine. It’s really close.”

Jaejoong pouted. “I don’t want to say goodbye yet.”  
  
“Me neither, but I will call you tomorrow. I promise.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “Not too early.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “Definitely not.”  
  
They kissed again, getting lost in it until Yoochun honked. “Jae, fuck, come on!”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. “Edible sexy sexy man. Want your dick inside me soon.”  
  
Yunho shivered. “Soon,” he promised and pressed one more kiss to his lips. He helped steady Jaejoong toward Yoochun’s car and helped settle him in the passenger seat.  
  
Yoochun grinned. “I take it your date went well.”  
  
“So good,” Jaejoong said, gripping Yunho’s shirt. A button many have snapped off.  
  
Yunho apologized to Yoochun.  
  
“No need, sexy. I’ve been trying to get Jaejoong to loosen up and meet someone for weeks. This is awesome.”  
  
Yunho smiled and let Jaejoong kiss him one more time. “It is very awesome.”  
  
With a deep sigh, Jaejoong released him and smiled and then moaned and leaned forward a bit.  
  
Yoochun laughed at him and the next thing Jaejoong remembered was the car moving too much, Yoochun talking to him, and then his house, his farm, his bed, and no Yunho in his bed.  
  
He frowned at his ceiling. That was not okay, and in his drunken state he vowed to remedy it as soon as possible.


	7. Are You An Alien? Because Your Ass is Out of This World

Jaejoong woke up too early. The sun was shining. Ugh. Sunshine. His head throbbed.  
  
Moaning, he rolled over, and realized that he did not wake up too early. He woke up way too late. He tried to care.  
  
With a smile, he ignored the pounding in his head and remembered Yunho instead. His strong body, his hands all over Jaejoong’s body, his lips, his eyes, his tongue, his body. Shit.  
  
But thinking about it, Jaejoong only remembered how hard his own cock had been. Had Yunho gotten erect while they danced? Or hell, while they kissed waiting for Yoochun?

Jaejoong could not remember. No matter really. They’d both been too drunk to do more than just frot against each other for a little while.  
  
His mouth was so gross. Jaejoong rolled out of bed and went right to the bathroom to piss and brush his teeth. After, he checked his phone. He had four messages from Yoochun.  
  
_You owe me, you drunken lout.  
I left early and fed your chickens so Mr. Drama King would not wake you up with his arrogant morning call. He tried to bite me.  
And because I love you, I milked your goats. You seriously owe me dinner. Your goats tried to eat my headphones.  
Oh, and I cheated and looked at your phone and found out that the handsome, tall, delicious pillar of sex is named Yunho. Ha!_  
  
Jaejoong laughed and sent Yoochun a text back that said, _Too bad the rooster didn’t bite off your dick._  
  
He liked Yunho’s message much better.  
  
_Good morning! I hope you are doing okay. I spent all night thinking of you._  
  
Jaejoong blushed and wondered how to respond.  
  
_I fear I was much too drunk to spend the night thinking of you, but I do desperately need some coffee. I will be at the cafe in about an hour. Can you meet me?_  
  
The reply was almost instant, before Jaejoong could even get to the bathroom to start a shower.  
  
_Of course. For you, I’d do almost anything._  
  
Curious, Jaejoong returned, _Almost?_  
  
_There are many things that are against the law and against social customs, but for you, I would still do many of them. You only need to ask._  
  
_Silly. That ..._ He did not know what else to say, so he just sent a whole bunch of blushing emojis and hurried to get in the shower.  
  
Jaejoong decided on plain, since Yunho had seen him dolled up the night before. He was too hungover to do anything more, so he only wore a fitted white T-shirt and jeans. As he headed out of the house, he remembered that his car was still at the parking lot in the city.  
  
“Fuck,” he muttered and then sat on his front steps and chuckled. “Goddamnit.”  
  
He called Yunho.  
  
“Jaejoong-ah!”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled and said, “Hello, handsome, guess what I just forgot?”  
  
“That your car is right here in front of me?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Yes. Sorry. I won’t be able to come and get it until Yoochun gets off work.”  
  
“Nonsense. With your permission, I will bring it to you.”  
  
“But ... I have the keys ... Yunho, do not hotwire my car!”  
  
“I don’t know what that means exactly, but it is not a problem, and very simple, and it will not ruin your engine or anything. Plus, I have coffee!”  
  
Jaejoong huffed. “Fine, you have my permission. If you get caught and the police think you’re stealing it, I am not bailing you out of jail.”  
  
“Do not worry. I know how to drive. Mostly.”  
  
Yunho hung up.  
  
“Mostly?” Jaejoong stared at his phone and then called it again.  
  
Yunho texted, _It is unsafe to drive and talk at the same time. I will be there shortly._  
  
Jaejoong stared out over his gravel driveway and listened for sirens. None came before the sound of a car on his road almost a half hour later. His car. With Yunho behind the wheel.  
  
He smiled widely and waved at Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong shook his head and stood up, walking toward him. “I can’t believe you stole my car,” Jaejoong said while Yunho climbed out of the driver’s seat.  
  
“I did not. You gave me permission.”  
  
“How did you even get it started? I have the keys!”  
  
“A simple trick I learned in the city. Don’t worry. Your car is fine.”  
  
“I know, but ... Yunho, a simple trick. Did you steal cars or something? Shit, you are a criminal!”  
  
Yunho pouted at him, and Jaejoong tried not to be swayed. “I only meant to help you. I am not a criminal.”  
  
Jaejoong crossed his arms and matched his pout. “Coffee?”  
  
Smiling, Yunho leaned into the open door and removed a container with two coffees and a bag that was full of something too sweet, Jaejoong was sure.  
  
“How did you even know where I lived?”  
  
A soft blush darkened his cheeks. “I ... um, looked it up today. In ... sorry. I ... was curious about your farm!”  
  
“So you’re a criminal and a stalker?”  
  
Yunho frowned and turned away. “You want me to go. I am sorry to upset you.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed and grabbed his arm. “Silly man, come on. It’s okay. I don’t want you to leave. I’m only teasing.”  
  
Yunho glanced at him and then smiled.  
  
Jaejoong thought for a moment that Yunho was manipulating him a little, but that didn’t feel right, not with what Jaejoong understood of his personality.  
  
“Come on and sit on the porch with me.”  
  
Yunho bit his lip and followed him. Jaejoong sat on one of his chairs and Yunho sat on the other before handing Jaejoong his coffee. And sure enough, the bag had very sugary danishes.  
  
“Why is there a plant in that hole?”  
  
Jaejoong glanced over. He’d purchased a very expensive pot that was big enough to sit in the mysterious hole and then found a wild ivy plant to fill it.  
  
“Part of the decoration,” Jaejoong said and did not offer any more information. He did not really like thinking about that hole or the week that he could not remember.  
  
“Your place is nice.”  
  
“Thank you.” Jaejoong shut his eyes and leaned his head back on the chair. “It’s been in my family for four generations.”  
  
“Are you unwell?”  
  
“Just a bit hungover. I drank way too much last night. I should probably apologize. I was handsy and suffocating.”

“Adorable. Cute. You should never apologize for wanting to kiss or touch me.”  
  
Jaejoong blushed and drank more of his coffee. It tasted so good. It was silent for a few minutes before Yunho said, “I did bring you a danish.”  
  
“You eat it. My stomach is all wonky.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “Thank you! They are very good.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled. He waited a few more sips of coffee, and then said, “I need to go check on my goats. Want to come with me?”  
  
“Sure!”  
  
Jaejoong stood up and led Yunho down the steps and around the yard. He laughed at the chickens clucking and then almost grew too excited at all the goats. Jaejoong had fourteen of them. Six were milking nannies and three were breeding billies. The others were still young. Jaejoong sold three or four every year to help with his finances.  
  
“Oh my god, they are so cute!” Yunho said.  
  
“Watch yourself though. They like to eat anything. And I mean anything. Paper, plastic, wood, plants. They ate my headphones a few months ago.”  
  
Yunho laughed and followed Jaejoong into the pen. He was absolutely bouncing. The kids were excited for someone new and jumped around him, butted his legs. Jaejoong went to their food trough to make sure that Yoochun had really fed them. He had, but not enough for the afternoon. He added a few more scoops of feed.  
  
Jaejoong turned around and bit his lip against laughter. Yunho was on his knees with two kids in his arms and another trying to eat his shirt. Unable to resist, he took out his phone and snapped a picture of it, and then another one of a goat trying to eat his hair.  
  
Yunho laughed and tried to gather more of them up into his arms.  
  
Jaejoong shook his head and rescued him, pulling him to his feet and putting his arms around Yunho’s waist.  
  
“Do you have to work today?” Jaejoong asked, aware of kids and goats trying to chew on his clothes.  
  
Yunho bit his lip and shook his head. “Not until tomorrow.”  
  
“Spend the day with me?”  
  
“Here?”  
  
“Or somewhere else, now that I have my car.”  
  
“I like it here,” Yunho said. “I see why you love your farm so much.”  
  
“It lets me be independent,” Jaejoong said. “I go grocery shopping for rice and things like that, but I always use my own vegetables, my own cream, my own cheese.”  
  
“You make cheese?”  
  
“Yeah, goat cheese.”  
  
“Wow. You are amazing.”  
  
Jaejoong blushed. “I learned from my parents.”  
  
“It’s okay if I stay?”  
  
“Yes, but one thing first.” He cupped Yunho’s cheeks and leaned up as Yunho leaned down and their lips brushed, whisper soft, and then joining in a firmer kiss. Jaejoong moaned when Yunho slid his mouth open and their tongues touched.  
  
Jaejoong moved away with a smile. Yunho’s breath was short.  
  
“That danish isn’t much, are you hungry?”  
  
“I love food.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed.  
  
**-o(.V.)o-**  
  
Jaejoong did not want Yunho to leave, not ever. After lunch they walked all around Jaejoong’s property, holding hands. Yunho asked questions about the garden and the plants. He was so sad that JiJi would not let him near him and just hissed at him instead.  
  
Still, Yunho was firm. He did not want to tumble Jaejoong into a bed until they were both certain of their feelings.  
  
It is what Jaejoong usually did, unless he was desperate, but he really, really liked Yunho. So instead of dragging him to his bed, Jaejoong drove him home, parked outside of his apartment, and they made out until the windows went foggy.  
  
They met for coffee and breakfast the next day, and then lunch the next. Yunho came over to eat dinner on Friday night and Saturday night. Only Yunho’s strength of will kept them from tumbling into bed together. Jaejoong’s was already gone.  
  
“It isn’t proper,” Yunho said. “I do not want you to think that all I want from you is your body. We must wait.”  
  
Jaejoong wanted to argue. But it was so ... just ... so romantic.  
  
Yoochun stopped asking Jaejoong how he was doing because all Jaejoong managed to say was that he was so in love.  
  
Sunday, Jaejoong was on air because Yunho showed up in the morning on his doorstep with a huge bouquet of flowers. He had walked all the way there, and Jaejoong felt his heart ache and soar. It was a long walk, but meant more than anything. The flowers were roses and violets and lilies.  
  
Jaejoong stood on his porch, not really even awake and just kissed Yunho until the other laughed and told him to go make them breakfast.  
  
Jaejoong had only partially protested the slap to his ass when he turned around to do as he was told.  
  
Yunho helped him clean the kitchen and feed his animals.  
  
Working alongside him felt so normal, and Jaejoong did his best not to get on his knees and beg.  
  
God, he wanted to get on his knees.  
  
He lasted almost until dinnertime. Well, technically, he’s lasted almost five days. That’s good enough. Long enough.  
  
Without saying anything, he stood up from the chair on the porch and moved over to Yunho, holding out his hands.  
  
There was no one around, and Jaejoong could give him the blowjob of his life there on the porch if he wanted to, but Yunho was trying to be romantic, so Jaejoong didn’t want to ruin the mood. Maybe later ...  
  
Jaejoong liked the idea of later, but the first time should be on a proper bed.  
  
Yunho did not pause in taking his hands or following Jaejoong through the house and to his room. He seemed nervous, but almost as eager as Jaejoong. Jaejoong kissed him deeply, arms around his neck, and moaned when Yunho wrapped his arms around Jaejoong’s body.  
  
“Please tell me that we’ve waited long enough?” Jaejoong whispered. “Please. I want you so badly. I am going crazy.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Perhaps ... it has been long enough. But I--”  
  
“I know, I know. Don’t want me for my body. But please. Please.”  
  
Jaejoong kissed him until his hands could no longer stay idle. He ran them down Yunho’s broad shoulders and arms, to his back and then up his shirt. It was Yunho who pulled it off, and then Jaejoong followed suit. He didn’t want to look too eager, realized it was too late for that, and took off his jeans too. His boxers stayed on and then he sat down on the bed, scooting back, leaning on his elbows, legs a little spread. He looked up at Yunho’s dazed expression and smiled.  
  
Yunho licked his lips, didn’t bother with his pants and crawled over Jaejoong, going back to his mouth. A strong arm went underneath him, supporting him. The other hiked up his leg, and Jaejoong moaned in appreciation of his strength. He was not the only one eager. He wanted Yunho’s dick inside him before the hour was out.  
  
He even had lube. From before ...  
  
Frowning, Jaejoong broke away from the kiss and tilted his head back, letting Yunho’s mouth move down his neck and to his collarbones. God, it felt so good. He moaned in appreciation, and then Yunho was back at his mouth for a deeper kiss, pressing Jaejoong down onto the bed.

“I want to explore you,” Yunho whispered.  
  
Jaejoong hummed. “Sound nice. Please.”  
  
Yunho kissed down his neck again, only pausing to tease the dips in his collarbones before going lower to his chest and nipples. He moaned at the firm licks on his piercing. Yunho’s hands moved in a firm circuit up and down his sides, across his stomach, down his thighs. God, everywhere.  
  
Jaejoong loved to be touched. Loved it so much. His dick was so hard, and when Yunho’s hands brushed over it, he cried out and tried to lift up to keep the touch. But Yunho did not linger and kept up his teasing touches and kisses until his mouth was all the way to the band of his boxers, his tongue pushing underneath it.  
  
Jaejoong moaned and begged, pushing at them, and Yunho chuckled, lifted up enough to peel them down and then off. His hands went to his bare thighs, and his mouth went right to his cock. No teasing at all, just sucking him down, almost too harshly. Only the first few sucks were harsh, and then Yunho settled down, one arm used to prop himself up. The other hand kept touching him, over his stomach, down his thighs, cupping his balls.  
  
Jaejoong thrashed, hands in Yunho’s hair, tugging at him while his orgasm twisted through him too fast and too soon, and he came too hard, too long, his voice stopping and silent as he shuddered through his release. He noted that Yunho had not gagged once, even to swallow his release. So talented.  
  
“Fuck,” Jaejoong whispered.  
  
Yunho kissed back up his body, to his mouth, and Jaejoong wrapped his arms around him, legs around his waist, and for the first time, Jaejoong felt Yunho’s erection against his body.  
  
Erection? Or baseball bat?  
  
Jaejoong moaned. Shit, Yunho was huge. God. How did he get so lucky?  
  
“How did I get so lucky?” Jaejoong whispered.  
  
Yunho chuckled. “I enjoyed that.”  
  
“I can tell. Are you going to take your pants off so I can return the favor?”  
  
He bit his lip and said, “Maybe ... later. I am still ... you came awfully quickly.”  
  
Jaejoong protested that and slugged his arm.  
  
Yunho gripped his wrist and pinned it by his head and Jaejoong’s cock throbbed and he moaned. “I just meant that I would like to explore you in other ways to see if I can do it again.”  
  
“Oh god, see? I am so lucky.”  
  
Yunho kissed him for a few more minutes, letting Jaejoong calm down just enough that when Yunho went back between his legs, he didn’t orgasm as soon as that talented tongue touched his cock. Good for him.  
  
Yunho sucked on his balls gently and then pushed at his thighs, and Jaejoong moaned because Yunho wanted ... fucking hell.  
  
Jaejoong grabbed behind his knees and held himself open. Yunho’s mouth went to the sensitive skin of the back of his thighs first, sucking and then biting into the soft skin. Jaejoong whimpered and gasped and probably was saying something silly like, “I love you” while Yunho blossomed the back of thighs with sexy hickys. God, his cock hadn’t softened at all and jerked against his stomach, pulsing precome almost in time to his rapid heartbeat.  
  
The bites moved to his ass and then Yunho licked at him, up his cleft and then with firmer touches to his entrance. He was panting and pulsing, god, he needed to be filled up. With a dick. Soon. Please.  
  
Fingers came first. One, a small stretch, and then two that stung too much. Even with his tongue helping along.  
  
“Lube. Yunho, wait. Lube.”  
  
“Where is it?”  
  
Jaejoong waved at his drawer. “Top drawer. On the left.”  
  
Yunho released him and pressed a kiss to the shaft of his dick before leaving the bed and getting the lube. He also pushed off his pants, letting Jaejoong really appreciate the size of his dick as it strained behind black boxerbriefs.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
“Soon,” Yunho said and winked.  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “God, so good. So good, Yunho-ah.”  
  
Yunho went back to his position between Jaejoong’s legs, and Jaejoong grabbed his knees again, holding himself open. Instead of lubed fingers, the tongue came back, and Jaejoong whimpered at the soft touch. And then teeth flared pain again over his ass, and a finger breached him. Yunho’s other hand moved up his thigh and then down to his dick. It was slick with lube, and Jaejoong cried out at the firm grip and quick thrusts of fingers suddenly making it difficult to think.  
  
And breathe.  
  
His head was a mess, his body on edge.  
  
Yunho used two fingers and then three to stretch him open. He sucked on Jaejoong’s balls, maybe too roughly and little bursts of pain twisted through the pleasure swirling around his body and pooling low in his stomach. His cock twitched and jerked. When Yunho’s mouth left his balls and his tongue slid up the shaft of his erection, Jaejoong was panting. Lips wrapped around the head of his erection, and more than three fingers pressed into his body, too tight, too many. With firm fingers curled around his balls, Jaejoong came, pulsing another release into Yunho’s mouth.  
  
Yunho moaned and bobbed his head faster, taking Jaejoong all the way down while he swallowed his come.  
  
Jaejoong sagged against the blankets and gasped. “Fuck.”  
  
Yunho sucked on him a few more times and then climbed up his body, kissing his stomach, biting his chest, licking at his nipple, leaving hickys almost everywhere. “I love your skin. I love your body. Everything about you is just so perfect.”  
  
Jaejoong swallowed a reply and was glad when Yunho kissed him so he didn’t actually have to reply. And it also hid his red cheeks, flushing from such an innocent compliment, but one that Jaejoong felt all the way to his soul. Yep, he was falling in love, and he couldn’t and didn’t want to stop it.


	8. Flashy-Thing Memory-Messer-Upper

Yunho loved to kiss him, and Jaejoong did not mind at all. It prolonged the amount of time it took for Jaejoong calm down, and that was also made worse by Yunho pressing him into the bed, rolling his hips and pressing that huge erection against his stomach and thighs. Their moans were almost in tandem, and their lips and tongues were so in sync that Jaejoong’s head felt too light and his skin was still on fire. It made him feel like this was not the first time Yunho had pressed him into a bed before.  
  
Jaejoong did not stop his hands from sliding all over Yunho’s strong back, or down to his ass, gripping and grinding up as forcefully as he could. His body was thrumming with need, and his tight entrance clamping down around nothing, and that just would not do. He needed to be fucked. Now.  
  
Jaejoong refused to release Yunho’s lips as he asked, “Do I get to play with you now?”  
  
Yunho shivered and shook his head. “Later. I want ... I want to be inside you first, and I ... please, just ...”  
  
Jaejoong pouted and said, “Fine, but one day, I want to see how far I can shove that cock of yours into my throat.”  
  
“It will fit much nicer in your ass.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “God, please, please.”  
  
“Which position would you prefer? I do not wish to hurt you.”  
  
“With that dick, I hope you do. Hell.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Let me prep you some more. Please.”  
  
Jaejoong snorted. “Cocky jerk. Fine. But if you make me come again before your dick is inside me, I’m going to be mad.”  
  
Yunho smiled and slid down his body, tongue and lips pausing to press kisses and leave wetness down to his erection. “Maybe just a little more.”  
  
Jaejoong lifted an eyebrow. “With that dick? Maybe just a lot more.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “I am very glad you appreciate the size of my dick. Do you mind if I put it to use so I make sure you never want me to leave again?”  
  
Jaejoong smiled and slid his hands through Yunho’s hair. “The dick is just a bonus, you know?”  
  
Yunho smiled and kissed Jaejoong dick, smiling softly when it jerked against his lips. “Yes, I know.”  
  
Yunho cupped his dick and licked around it, around the base, and then down to his balls.  
  
Jaejoong moaned and lifted his legs, gripping behind his knees. With eyes mostly shut, he watched as Yunho poured lubed right onto his body and then his fingers. Three of them went inside Jaejoong and he moaned louder, clamping down around them. His eyes shut as Yunho pumped them in and out of his body, twisting and spreading them. Without pausing, another finger entered him, and Jaejoong forced his eyes open to confirm that it was a finger from his other hand. Four fingers, and then five.  
  
Jaejoong gasped at the stretch, at the firm fleeting touches on his prostate. His cock was hard again, and he kept his hands on his knees to stop himself from stroking off.  
  
When the fingers left him, Jaejoong whined in disappointment.  
  
Yunho’s tongue ran around the stretched rim, and Jaejoong whimpered. He probably cursed too. Fuck.  
  
“Watch me,” Yunho whispered and the bed moved.  
  
Jaejoong opened his eyes with difficulty, and watched as Yunho peeled the boxers off his body, lifting the band over the top of his dick.  
  
“Fuck. That ... might not ... fit.” He was thick too, and veiny, and the head was just perfectly balanced to the rest of it. Jaejoong wanted to suck on him so badly.

Yunho chuckled. “Yes, it will. It’s only twenty-five centimeters.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “Fucking hell. Please, just ... just in my mouth, for a moment.”  
  
Yunho smiled and moved to the side of the bed. He kneeled close enough to Jaejoong’s head. Shaking, Jaejoong reached for him, curling his thumb and forefinger just under the head. His fingers touched, but barely. He yanked, whimpering, and Yunho shuffled closer. Jaejoong pulled too, and then he moaned long and loud when he got his mouth around the shaft. He moved, shifting up and letting go of his own knees. His dick was warm. Full of that heady, heavy warm scent of almost roses. Not sweat, even though they’d spend the day walking around the farm and working on his land. It was so addicting.  
  
Jaejoong gasped and opened his mouth around the head, sucking enough to get Yunho to shiver and then bobbed his head. He gagged trying to take too much and then had his hand on the shaft, pulling it back for a better angle. He tried again, moaning constantly because he tasted too good and it felt so good in his mouth. He had no idea how much he was taking and didn’t care, letting himself try for too much. His other hand cupped Yunho’s balls, and Jaejoong got his first noise louder than a whimper, and he smirked and tugged a bit harder and tried to swallow more.  
  
Fingers tangled in his hair and Yunho’s hips moved, thrusting into his mouth, once, twice, and then Jaejoong gagged stronger at the third one, and Yunho finally yanked him away  
  
Jaejoong whimpered and tried to get his mouth back on him. The head was so close, and a stream of precome glistened in a thin line. He wanted to taste.  
  
But Yunho pulled him up by his hair, to his knees to kiss him and grip his ass. Fingers sliding along his cleft and then into his ass reminded him that they were going to fuck.  
  
“Fuck me, please, Fuck me.”  
  
Yunho moaned. “Yes, yes. Want you. Always ... so much.”  
  
Jaejoong gasped and pulled himself away, falling to his back again and lifting his legs. Yunho moved over him, leg arching over him. It was just enough for Jaejoong to stroke his dick a few times, and then it was almost out of reach.  
  
Yunho shuffled forward. He dumped lube all over himself and used four fingers to press more into Jaejoong’s body.  
  
Jaejoong moaned. One of his hands went to his own dick, stroking almost too fast.  
  
“Gorgeous,” Yunho gasped, and then he was holding himself down, the wide head pushing into Jaejoong. He tensed up with a cry and then tried to relax. Prep or no, god, Yunho was almost too wide ... he felt it in his throat, all through his body, tight. Too tight. Yunho slid into him a little more, his own moan keeping Jaejoong from protesting. Fuck. It was ...  
  
He held his hands at Yunho’s hips, legs hooking at his biceps, and then said, “Pull out ... please, just ... slower.”  
  
Yunho whimpered but did as he asked.  
  
Jaejoong was able to breathe for a moment and then nodded as Yunho tried again. This time he didn’t go far, just swiped his dick up and down his cleft and then pushed in and out a little more.  
  
Jaejoong gasped and nodded. “Good. so good, feels so ... Fuck it.” He stroked his cock while Yunho teased his body, sliding into him a bit deeper with each press. His body was just on edge, completely and it did not take many more strokes before Jaejoong was screaming, body clamping down on Yunho and his dick pumping come over his fingers and onto his stomach.  
  
Jaejoong sagged into the bed, only slightly aware of Yunho still moving, pressing a bit deeper. He wasn’t really breathing anyway, so it didn’t matter. His cock throbbed, his body pulsed, clenching around his dick.  
  
And then Yunho’s thighs were against his ass, and Jaejoong felt too full, so full. His back arched off the bed, arms straight above him and he moaned Yunho’s name, hips shifting, squirming at the feeling of Yunho’s dick so tight inside him.  
  
Yunho grunted something and then moved, slow and torturous, in and out of him.  
  
Jaejoong whimpered. Cried. Was he crying? God, maybe. His body was on fire.  
  
Yunho pumped a little faster, and Jaejoong gasped encouragement. God, he felt split open. And he loved it. He managed to get his legs around Yunho’s waist and then his arms on Yunho’s strong shoulders. Yunho’s hips hit a little harder, little firmer, and Jaejoong moaned in appreciation. Fucking hell yes.  
  
He moaned, body shaking. Not an orgasm, but almost one. His cock was still hard. Shit. So good.  
  
“So good, Yunho-yah, so good.”  
  
Yunho suddenly fell forward, hips stilling. Their lips and tongues met and Jaejoong did not mind the pause in movements to kiss him, tangle his hands in Yunho’s soft hair.  
  
“So good. So sexy. Love, love your big dick, fuck. So big.”  
  
Yunho grunted, hips rotating instead of thrust, and Jaejoong cried out at the feeling of being even more stretched than he should.  
  
“Fuck, please. Just ...” Jaejoong pushed at Yunho’s hips, and with his own moan, Yunho pulled out of him and lifted up.  
  
Jaejoong kept pushing until he had enough room to turn around, get on his knees, face against a pillow, ass up in the air. “This way. This way, please.”  
  
Yunho kneeled behind him, his erection nestled against his cleft, and then it was down, sliding back inside him. All at once, and Jaejoong gasped, back arching and he thrust back. But Yunho moved enough that his dick fell out him. Jaejoong whined and gripped his ass, spreading himself open. Yunho thrust back into him, all the way again, and Jaejoong screamed, the noise muffled. Again, Yunho pulled all the way out.  
  
“I love to watch your body beg for me.” Fingers rubbed around his pulsating rim, and Jaejoong whimpered, begged, cried.  
  
“Please, please.”  
  
Again, Yunho’s cock thrust into him. Much slower, so Jaejoong felt it all, and in this position it went even deeper than before, and Jaejoong choked on his next breath.  
  
When Yunho retreated again, Jaejoong thrust back, not letting him pull all the way out.  
“Hard. Hard, just. More.”  
  
Yunho gripped his hips and moved. Not hard, not at first, not until Jaejoong was almost screaming the command, and Yunho obeyed. Hard. But steady. Yunho’s grip moved to waist, and then he fucked him, their bodies meeting in heavy slaps. Jaejoong’s cock throbbed, leaking all over his bed, and Jaejoong held himself still, trying not to come.  
  
Jaejoong buried his moans in the pillow that soon was covered in drool and then he flung it away, getting up on his elbows. He thrust his hips back, meeting Yunho’s thrusts. He tried to fall forward, but Yunho tightened his grip and sped up his thrusts, and Jaejoong whimpered. It felt like Yunho was fucking all up his spine.  
  
Fingers slid up his back and then into his hair and pulled, and Jaejoong lifted up to his hands and knees and Yunho grunted at the change in angle. He sped up even more, and Jaejoong revelled in the joy of dancer’s hips, his body still tingling through the pleasure, until he couldn’t take it anymore, and he grabbed his dick and stroked until he was screaming.  
  
Blue.  
  
His vision went blue, his body froze, everything flashed white and then blue lightning dance behind his eyes, and his voice broke, echoing through the room, and he was coming all over the bed and his hand and that was enough and he fell forward, with only his ass in the air, only kept up by Yunho’s hands on his hips, his thrusts wild and hard. Jaejoong jolted forward, but could not stop his own moans as his body shuddered through smaller bursts of pleasure that whipped blue behind his eyes. His dick pulsed more come to the bed, and his body shivered through another less intense burst of an orgasm.  
  
And then Yunho stopped, body shaking, buried completely inside him and Jaejoong felt how much he came, felt it almost into his body and then it was seeping down his stretched ass and Yunho fell on top of him, cock sliding out of him, through the thick mess with a dirty noise that had Jaejoong moaning. Come pulsed out of him.  
  
_Fuck._  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
Jaejoong managed to get a hand behind himself, fingers tracing his gaping body, and he moaned, pulling them back to his mouth to taste.  
  
The slickness on his fingers tasted more like lube than. It was not the same as before. But that was the probably lube. He was sure that if he had just sucked Yunho off like last time, then his come would taste the same. Like come, but not as salty. Jaejoong craved it. He wanted to swallow Yunho’s cock down like he did last time and see how far he could get it into his throat before gagging.  
  
_Wait. What?_  
  
His head throbbed and he moaned, burying his face into his sweaty sheets. Yunho was not sweaty, not even after all that. Stupid perfect skin and efficient body processes.  
  
_What?_  
  
His head hurt. God, his body hurt. His entire ass hurt. But he wasn’t surprised. Not after such good sex with that dick. Jaejoong was so glad he was able to get fucked this time.  
  
A hand ran up and down his back, and Jaejoong hummed in enjoyment. “Good. So good, Yunho-ah.”  
  
Yunho kissed the back of his neck.  
  
Jaejoong moaned and said, “Bite me. I love it when you bite me. Like last time.”  
  
Teeth closed around his neck and then stopped. “Last time?”  
  
_Last time?_  
  
Jaejoong tried to think. What? Last time. This was the first ...  
  
But no, it wasn’t. Yunho had touched him before. Yunho had bit him before, left him with a gorgeous hicky. In that hotel room. God, stupid hotel room. He was so glad ... home. He was home. In his own bed.  
  
His eyes went wide and he shouted, pushing away from Yunho despite his tired and sore body.  
  
Last time. The hotel. The silver gun ... blue.  
  
Jaejoong pressed his palms to his eyes. “No, no ... I just ... I just met you. I just met you.”  
  
Soft fingers trailed down his wrist and arm.  
  
_Your skin is so soft. I want to explore it._  
  
Fuck. What ...  
  
Bits and pieces of a memory ... or a dream ... faded in bursts of clarity and then obscurity in his mind. The hole in his porch ... the man ...  
  
Jaejoong’s eyes flew open. “U.N.O. 730 ...”  
  
Yunho frowned at him.  
  
“Oh god,” Jaejoong whispered. “Is this real? Is this ...”  
  
And then he realized that Yunho was calm. Just touching one part of him. Calm while Jaejoong freaked out. He was not questioning anything Jaejoong said or did. A normal person would be asking questions about why Jaejoong was freaking out.  
  
“Real? Oh my god, that ...” Jaejoong moved away from him. “You’re an alien,” he almost hissed.  
  
Yunho swallowed deeply. He was nervous, and his voice shook when he said, “You remember?”  
  
“Yes, just ... wait ...”

Jaejoong tried to stand up and fell back to the bed, because really, there was no way he was standing up after having that dick so far inside him or an orgasm that strong. He moaned, head resting on Yunho’s stomach. Fingers played with his sweaty hair.  
  
They ... Yunho had ... Jaejoong had helped him. They had laughed and watched TV. And then ... then they kissed and Jaejoong let Yunho touch him and he’d sucked on Yunho’s dick, and ...  
  
“Is your dick bigger than before?” Jaejoong demanded, moving to glare at him.  
  
Yunho flushed and held up a hand, fingers spread apart a few centimeters. “Only a bit longer, and wider, yes. Based on your comments before, I thought you might like it to be larger. So I adapted.”  
  
“Oh my god. I do, but fuck, Yunho.”  
  
Yunho sat up, dislodging him and said, “Let me explain before I leave. Please. Let me explain.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at him. _Leave? Yunho was going to leave?_  
  
Yunho looked up at the ceiling and sighed. “It’s true, whatever your mind is showing you. I escaped from a facility that performed experiments on me. I fell in your house and made that hole in your porch. I did not mean to, and then when the authorities tried to find me--”  
  
“They made me stay in a hotel.”

Yunho nodded. “I followed you there, and then.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “You were ... you were going to have sex with me, but we needed lube and you left. I felt them coming from the scrambler and left, took some of your clothes and left. I saw them find you and saw them transport you. I hoped they took you home, and they did. I ran here to come and see you, but ... but you couldn’t remember. You were talking to Yoochun, and I ... they erased your memories of me.”  
  
Jaejoong stared in awe at the tears on Yunho’s cheeks. He shuffled forward and wiped them away. “I didn’t know you could cry.”  
  
Yunho shook his head. “I have not, not since ... I cried from some of the pain experiments. But this pain ... this is different. It was different. I felt it ... here.” He touched his chest. “I cried when they took you away too, because you could not remember me, and they took you away from me. I wanted revenge, but I did not want to be captured again. So I adapted. You helped me so much, but I still needed so many things. I wanted to approach you much sooner, but it took a very long time to procure documents and then find a job, so I would be human enough for you to accept me.”  
  
Jaejoong swallowed. “And ... now ... shit. That gun thing. It was blue. Right as ... shit. That last orgasm, everything was blue.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed in disbelief, and then he laughed hard enough that he curled up, his face and the noise buried against Yunho’s stomach.  
  
Yunho looked at him in confusion.  
  
“Oh god, I can’t believe you fucked away their memory scrambler thing. God. Talk about being amazing at sex.”  
  
Yunho tried to smile. “I am sorry I deceived you, but I wanted ... I wanted to be with you, and I want ... even as your human boyfriend. I did not want you to know that we had already met, but I did not ... it was unfair, and I am sorry that --”  
  
Jaejoong crawled into his lap and shut him up with his lips, hands on his cheeks. He kissed him once quickly and then again, and then again, until Yunho had a shaking arm around his waist and he was kissing him back.  
  
“I’m not angry. Not at you. At them.” He looked up toward the ceiling. “We could have been having sex that amazing for the last three months.”  
  
Yunho laughed, sort of. The noise broke into a sob near the end. “You ... you don’t want me to go?”  
  
“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous. Or more ridiculous. God, even ... oh man. You were so ridiculous. You still are sometimes, and you say the stupidest shit, but this is insane. I felt so lost, Yunho. So lost. I remember that someone was missing. It felt like someone was missing. I had five days and no memory of them. A hicky on my neck. Fuck, Yoochun was right. Oh my god, it was aliens!”  
  
Yunho smiled. “You are not angry about pretending to be human to be your boyfriend?”  
  
Jaejoong kissed him. “You did nothing wrong. Not at all. I understand why you would want to try to be my boyfriend. You like me?”  
  
Yunho nodded.  
  
“I like you too. I liked you then. I loved showing you about pleasure and touching and sex. I wanted to show you.”

“Obviously I learned without you.”  
  
“From who?” Jaejoong demanded, eyes narrowed.  
  
“Pornography. I found gay ones that would help me know how to pleasure you.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “So you haven’t ... you didn’t have sex with anyone?”  
  
Yunho shook his head. “I wanted the only one that I ever explored and had sex with to be you. Only you.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled, feeling his own eyes fill with tears. He flung his arms around Yunho’s body and hugged him tightly.  
  
“I only adjusted my dick size because I thought you would like it. I can return it to the size--”  
  
“Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “You like it?”  
  
“God, yes. So much.” Jaejoong reached for the dick in question. It was actually still half hard. “I’m so glad you learned to take pleasure in touching me.”  
  
“I’m so glad I can keep learning and exploring your body and finding ways to pleasure it.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned and said, “You up for more?”  
  
Yunho narrowed his eyes, but Jaejoong felt his cock swelling. “You are sore.”  
  
“Yes, but I’m pretty sure I can still walk straight. More. Fuck me again. Until I can’t see straight, until I can’t move, until I won’t want to do anything tomorrow but lie in bed with you.”  
  
Yunho swallowed and then smiled brightly. “That sounds wonderful.”  
  
“So does your cock plowing into my ass.”


	9. The Truth Is Out There

Jaejoong woke up to a soft touch on his side, firm fingers curling around his hip, on his thigh, and then lifting. He moaned as Yunho’s erection prodded him from behind.  
  
“I understand why you were always so hard in the morning. It is difficult to control these reactions when I am next to you.”  
  
Jaejoong shifted his hips and whimpered when Yunho’s dick pressed into him. He was sore. “Fuck, I’m too sore.”

“I know, but I only wanted a moment.” His dick thrust further on the last word, and Jaejoong choked on a groan. His own dick pulsed in interest and Jaejoong gave up resisting. Why not wake up to an orgasm from that dick since that was the last thing he remembered before falling asleep anyway?  
  
He rolled on his stomach, hips lifted in invitation. A pillow slipped under him and he gasped as he sagged onto it, cock throbbing.  
  
Yunho settled over him, an easy push right back into his ass, and Jaejoong grunted at how far Yunho could fuck into him. His legs spread, hips rolling up to meet his thrusts. He moaned and whimpered, quieter than last night, until Yunho’s hand slipped around to his cock and then his cries were louder, his body hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the need to come. Desperate. Anguish. He needed more.  
  
He may have said that out loud because Yunho bit down on his neck, hopefully on a spot of skin that wasn’t already covered with a hicky. His hips slowed, and Jaejoong whimpered in protest, trying to rock his hips up. It was enough to have Yunho prodding deeper inside him and not slipping out, not thrusting.  
  
“Feel so good,” Yunho said and then moved his mouth to Jaejoong’s shoulder.  
  
The bed was creaking something fierce and Jaejoong was so glad he didn’t have neighbors.  
  
With his moans echoing around them and Yunho’s mouth biting at all the skin he could while still fucking into him, Jaejoong was shuddering through his orgasm, pulsing weak clumps of come over Yunho’s fingers. He fell to the bed with a whimper and Yunho kept his hips moving for a few more moments, before he stilled and added to the mess in Jaejoong’s body.  
  
Jaejoong smiled. He did like that he affected Yunho almost as much as Yunho affected him, but he had plans on seeing how many hours straight Yunho could fuck him for without coming. But not today. God, his body hurt.  
  
“I suggest we soak in your bathtub for a little while and then eat.”  
  
Jaejoong hummed. That sounded like a great idea, a great use of his morning.  
  
They lay together for a few more moments, before Yunho pressed a kiss to his neck and whispered, “I cannot believe you still desire me, and that you do not want me to leave. I thought you’d run away if you learned the truth.”  
  
“Maybe I would have if I had learned it without my memories. But those memories ... I knew who you were before I started to like you. I cannot ignore that. And stupid asshole aliens.”  
  
The front door suddenly opened.  
  
“Kim Jaejoong!”  
  
Jaejoong winced at Yoochun’s shout.  
  
“Where the hell--oh, sorry.”  
  
Yoochun leaned against the door frame, a sexy smirk firmly in place as he saw them in bed together. The blankets were not covering them, and Yunho’s dick was still nestled in his ass, moving out of him only as slowly as he was going soft.  
  
“You are not sorry,” Jaejoong muttered.  
  
“Nope. I called you like ... twenty times since yesterday. I was worried. You aren’t ever disappearing on me again.”  
  
“Alien assholes,” Jaejoong said. “Blame them.”  
  
Yoochun smiled. “What?”  
  
“Aliens. It was all the aliens’ fault.”  
  
“You’re serious?”  
  
“You explain, crazy alien man.” Jaejoong shoved Yunho.  
  
Yunho chuckled. “Maybe over coffee.”  
  
“Hmm, good idea, lover. Coffee. Yoochun, be a pal, get a pot going.”  
  
“I’m so confused.”  
  
“I know. I’ll explain why I’m in bed with him.”  
  
Yoochun snorted. “He has a massive cock, that’s why. Any chance you’ll let me share in the wealth, Jaejoong-ah? He has more than enough to go around.”  
  
“You keep talking and you’re going to lose yours.”

Yoochun laughed. “Okay. Coffee first.” He pushed away from the door.  
  
Yunho frowned down at Jaejoong. “You are going to tell him?”  
  
“I have to. He was so worried about me. Making me disappear didn’t just affect the two of us.”  
  
Yunho nodded. “He will not try to seduce me?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Maybe not seriously. He’s going to joke around a lot though, so be prepared.”  
  
“LIke you,” Yunho whispered and three fingers pushed into his body.  
  
Jaejoong moaned.  
  
“No!” Yoochun shouted from the kitchen. “No way. Not while I’m making coffee and definitely not if I’m not allowed to join!”  
  
Yunho smiled. “I like him.”  
  
“Me, too. But I like your dick more.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “And me, I hope.”  
  
“Hmm,” Jaejoong agreed pulling him down for a deep kiss. “I like your dick, but I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.”  
  
Yunho’s eyes went wide. “I don’t ... I’m sorry ... I don’t ...”  
  
“You don’t understand yet. That's okay."

"I do understand, sort of, but I ... I don’t want anyone but you. I don’t want to lay in bed with anyone but you. I don’t want to drink coffee and go on walks and kiss anyone but you.”  
  
“That’s a good start, and one I very much agree with. Sometimes I don’t understand love either. We’ll fall in love together, okay?”  
  
Yunho smiled and nodded eagerly. “Together?”  
  
“Yes. Can you break your lease and move in with me?”  
  
Yunho laughed. “Yes. I can. I only pay month-to-month.”  
  
“Good. Come on, before Yoochun comes back to sneak another peek at your dick.”  
  
“Too late,” Yoochun said from the door.  
  
Jaejoong threw a pillow at him. Yoochun easily dodged. Jaejoong didn’t bother to cover up as he stood. His body was so sore. He was shaking. A firm hand on his sore ass kept him from falling over.  
  
“Fucking hell, Yunho,” Yoochun muttered. “I have never seen Jaejoong so delectably fucked the morning after. Look at all those hickys.”  
  
Jaejoong smiled at him and then over at Yunho. “It’s been so yummy.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “Yes. You taste better than even samgyeopsal.”  
  
They both laughed.  
  
Jaejoong attempted a step, and then another, cautious all the way to his dresser.  
  
“You know, you may want to go clean up.” Fingers slid over his ass and down his thigh.  
  
Jaejoong attempted to smack his best friend, but missed.  
  
Yoochun laughed and licked his fingers clean. His eyes went wide and he glanced over at Yunho.  
  
Yunho smiled. “Without the usual amount of waste byproducts within a semen expulsion, that taste is quite normal.”  
  
“Sustenance,” Jaejoong said.  
  
Yunho laughed. “Almost, but it tastes better than sustenance. Especially yours.”  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Yoochun said and went to Jaejoong’s body for another sample.  
  
This time Jaejoong danced out of his way. “Don’t you dare, Park Yoochun. That’s all you get.”  
  
“Seriously, go shower. It’s all over you.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned and shut his eyes. “And inside me. Down my throat. Fuck. It’s so good, Yoochun-ie.”  
  
“I really hate you.”  
  
His best friend left the room.  
  
Arms wrapped around his body. “He is your best friend?”  
  
Jaejoong hummed, content to just be close and not speak.  
  
“I am probably acting irrationally, but I would like to punch him in the face for touching you.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed.  
  
“That is not a joke.”  
  
Jaejoong turned in his arms and kissed him. “I know. You are not allowed to punch him in the face.”  
  
Yunho pouted. “How about I slap him in the face?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “No! You are not allowed to hurt my best friend.”  
  
“But I can be angry that he touched you?”  
  
“Yes.”  
  
“Am I allowed to shower with you?”  
  
“Not this time,” Jaejoong said and kissed his pout. “If you do, I’m going to want you to fuck me again, and ... well, I am really sore.”  
  
Yunho licked his lips and said, “Will it help if I lick you better with my tongue within your body?”  
  
“Oh god.” Jaejoong gripped the back of Yunho’s hair. A sliver of a memory spread through him, and he scratched at the base of his hair line.  
  
Yunho moaned, body shaking. His cock even twitched against Jaejoong’s thigh.  
  
“Kim Jaejoong, I swear to god!”  
  
Jaejoong huffed and said, “Go get some coffee. I’ll be quick.”  
  
Yunho pouted.  
  
“What?”  
  
“It is against social customs to display the size of my penis in order to intimidate other males that want to mate with you.”  
  
Jaejoong stared at him, smiled, and shook his head. “You’re so stupid.”  
  
“I’m just saying. It is unfair. Other animals on this world do this. Why can’t I do so too?”  
  
Jaejoong chuckled and pressed a kiss to his lips. “That’s so ridiculous. But please get dressed. All Yoochun will do if you go out there naked is ogle you and try to touch you. He would much rather mate with you than me.”  
  
“Fine. But I hope he does not stay long. We are supposed to stay in bed all day.”  
  
With a firm resolve to get rid of his best friend as soon as possible, Jaejoong finally pulled away from Yunho’s arms and headed to his bathroom. It took much longer than he expected to clean the come off his body (god, Yoochun was right, it was everywhere), and then dressed in shorts and a tank top.  
  
He walked into the kitchen, interrupting Yoochun lamenting about Changmin not wanting to fuck him.  
  
“Come on, Jaejoong,” Yoochun said as Jaejoong poured himself a cup of coffee. “I’m not above begging for a pity fuck, especially from--”  
  
Jaejoong shook his head. “I told Yunho that he is not allowed to hurt you for touching me. I make no such promises myself if you touch him. Yunho is mine. Keep your hands off, Park.”  
  
“God, why didn’t I think to take a picture?”  
  
Jaejoong laughed. “Stunned stupid. Yunho is good at doing that.”  
  
Jaejoong sat at the table, but his ass hurt so he stood back up and leaned against the counter. That hurt too, but it was bearable.  
  
“Okay, so explain,” Yoochun said. “About the alien thing.”  
  
“Three months ago, I disappeared,” Jaejoong said. “For five days.”  
  
“Right.”  
  
“And our conclusion?”  
  
Yoochun shrugged. “Aliens.”

“Asshole aliens.”  
  
“That fed your goats. And?”  
  
“You were right.”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
Jaejoong motioned to Yunho.  
  
Yunho bit his lip. “I do not like to tell you this because it is not safe for people to know, especially after I have adapted to your world and social customs.”  
  
“What are you talking about?”  
  
“I am not from Earth. I am from Soleigajgiah.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“He’s a crazy, alien man,” Jaejoong said and laughed.  
  
“I am not crazy,” Yunho said. “But I am an alien. I am not from Earth.”  
  
“Huh?” Yoochun said, eyes wide.  
  
Jaejoong sipped on his coffee, just watching Yunho talk, telling Yoochun about his escape and how he did not mean to crash into Jaejoong’s front porch.  
  
“I’m so glad you did,” Jaejoong said.  
  
Yunho smiled over at him. “So am I. Jaejoong is very sexy.”  
  
“The asshole alien authorities wiped my memory after they were done searching for Yunho. They told me that I wasn’t supposed to know of their existence and they did not want me to warn Yunho. So I was just here ... and I couldn’t remember.”  
  
“And I take it that Yunho gave you that hicky and the lube was for his erection?”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “Yep.”  
  
“Stupid aliens interrupted your sex. No wonder you were freaking the fuck out that day.”  
  
Jaejoong stuck his tongue out at him.  
  
“I do want you to promise that you will not tell anyone about me. It is very dangerous for me,” Yunho said. “I have adapted well, and have learned to look like you and act like you. I learned to read and use the Internet. I learned about sex and love and dramas. I like dramas a lot.”  
  
“So ... what did you look like before?”  
  
Yunho tilted his head. “Huh?”  
  
“You said you learned to look like us, what did you look like before?”  
  
“What do you mean? I looked like me.”  
  
Yoochun glanced at Jaejoong.  
  
Jaejoong shrugged. “His skin is darker, his hair is lighter. He looked very ... generic. Like anyone else. I’m pretty sure he didn’t have almond-shaped eyes, or brown eyes. They were black, glowing a little bit.”  
  
“Ah, I understand. And the eyes are easy. I can change those quickly and show you,” Yunho said.  
  
He shut his eyes for about thirty seconds, and when he opened them again, they weren’t golden brown. They were dark, black, like a deep glow of the darkest light. If that made sense.  
  
It looked weird.  
  
Yoochun’s mouth fell open. “That ... that ...”  
  
Yunho’s eyes shut again and then opened back to the golden brown. “The eyes are the easiest because it is just using light to change their color.”  
  
“Are you a robot?” Yoochun asked.  
  
“A robot?” Jaejoong laughed. “Does he look like he’s made from high-gloss technocratical cinnamon?”  
  
Yunho stared at him for a moment and then laughed and jumped up from his chair, wrapping Jaejoong up in his arms. “That was very wrong, but so funny!”  
  
Yoochun stared at the two of them in confusion.  
  
Jaejoong smiled, leaning his head on Yunho’s shoulder. “He isn’t a robot, but he is an alien.”  
  
“This is insane. How are ... how are you ... so how do you suddenly remember?”  
  
Jaejoong smiled widely. “Well, blame that massive dick.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Last night, orgasm number three.”  
  
“Number four,” Yunho said. “You got off twice from my mouth and fingers.”  
  
“Oh god, yes,” Jaejoong said, eyes shutting. He licked his lips. “And the third was just being stretched open by your dick, and then fucked so hard. That was so nice.”  
  
“Fuck,” Yoochun said. “Shut up. Just ...”  
  
Jaejoong bit back a moan. “God, it was so good, Yoochun-ie. It was just this really long, powerful orgasm, and everything was blue when I shut my eyes, and bam, memories. He fucked away their memory scrambler.”  
  
Yunho nodded. “It might have also been my scrambler.” He touched his ear. “But probably the orgasm. If it did that to your memories, your brain would probably look like scrambled eggs.”  
  
“Wait,” Jaejoong said and glared at Yunho. “Did you use the scrambler to steal my car?”  
  
“I had your permission,” he said with a pout.  
  
Jaejoong laughed and leaned up to kiss him.  
  
“No, kisses,” Yoochun said just before their lips met. “This is insane. Unbelievable.”  
  
Jaejoong nodded. “I know. But ...” He put his coffee cup down and went over to Yoochun. “I swear to you it’s the truth, Yoochun. I swear.” He crossed Yoochun’s heart and then his own, and then kissed his lips. “Best Friend Promise.”  
  
Yoochun sighed and put his arms around Jaejoong’s waist, hugging him tightly. “I was so worried about you. Especially since I could not get to your house. I didn’t sleep well for five days, and I find out you were shacking up in some love motel with a sexy alien.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed and hugged him tightly. “Blame the alien assholes. Just not Yunho. He isn’t an asshole.”  
  
“That assessment may change if you continue to hold him and attempt to touch his ass,” Yunho said.  
  
Yoochun laughed and copped a feel before Jaejoong moved away from him and went to Yunho’s arms.  
  
“I am not allowed to hurt your best friend,” Yunho said with a pout.  
  
“Please don’t,” Yoochun said.  
  
“You can’t tell anyone, Yoochun-ie,” Jaejoong said, sitting gingerly in Yunho’s lap. Without his ass actually against anything, it was more comfortable than the chair to the counter. Though his thighs did sting from all the bites and hickys.  
  
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone. But I will rent out a billboard and have it say ‘Jung Yunho Is An Alien!’ in giant letters.”  
  
Jaejoong rolled his eyes.  
  
Yunho’s frown deepened.  
  
“He’s just kidding,” Jaejoong said.  
  
“Ooh,” Yoochun said, “maybe a radio ad, or a commercial. I’ll write a jingle for it. Jung Yunho Is An Alien!” He sang it in a stupid melody. “It’s catchy. I like it. Man, this is great. I’ll be famous!”  
  
“You mean I will be famous,” Yunho said. “I’m the alien. You just get to be a sidekick.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed, cupped Yunho’s cheeks and kissed him.  
  
“Your kisses give me so much pleasure,” Yunho whispered.  
  
Yoochun groaned and said, “Wow. That was ... really lame.”  
  
“And romantic,” Jaejoong said, not taking his eyes from Yunho.  
  
“You and your romance,” Yoochun said.  
  
Yunho glanced at him. “Have you attempted to be romantic with your co-worker?”  
  
Yoochun stared at him. “Huh?”  
  
“You have said many sexual things today that are not very romantic. Have you tried romance? Have you tried to just tell him you are in love with him? That you want to date him? Or have all you told him is how much you want to suck on and ride his hardened penis?”  
  
Jaejoong bit his lip against laughter.  
  
Yoochun glanced at him. “I ... what ... he doesn’t like me though.”  
  
“Maybe he does but he does not think you are being serious.”  
  
“Fuck, that ... that’s actually ... kind of brilliant. Wow.” He spun around and out the front door, calling, “Kim Jaejoong, you still owe me dinner for milking your goats on Thursday!”  
  
Jaejoong turned to Yunho and licked his lips. “I thought he’d be here forever.”  
  
Yunho smiled. “I am so glad he is gone.”  
  
“You said something about licking me better,” Jaejoong whispered and licked Yunho’s upper lip.  
  
Yunho nodded. “With my tongue. On your ass. I want to lick at you with my tongue until you come.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “That’s just going to make me want your cock inside me again.”  
  
“No. I want to pleasure you, but I do not want you to be sore.”  
  
“Hm, so a contest.”  
  
Yunho narrowed his eyes. “A contest.”  
  
“Yes.” Jaejoong stood up and let Yunho pull him closer with hands on his thighs. His mouth opened against a cloth-covered nipple.  
  
“The terms are that you are allowed to lick me and touch me and do anything you want to me but fuck me. If you fuck me, you lose and I win.”  
  
Yunho bit his lip. “And if I don’t fuck you?”  
  
“You still lose.”  
  
Yunho laughed. “That’s a silly contest.”  
  
“Maybe. Shall we start?” Jaejoong pushed his sweatpants down and leaned over the table. “Lick me?”  
  
Yunho fell to his knees and shuffled behind him. His hands were firm as he spread Jaejoong open. But his mouth went first to the hickys and the bites, kissing or licking at each one. Jaejoong gripped the table and tried not to shake. He buried his face against his folded arm, and whimpered as Yunho’s mouth moved closer to his cleft. Jaejoong moaned at the first touch of his tongue, and shivered when fingers soon joined him. His body was too sore, he knew it, but god, he could not get enough of him.  
  
Too soon, Yunho was standing, and then leaning over him, mouth trailing kisses up his spine. His erection was full and heavy on Jaejoong’s ass, sliding through his cleft.  
  
“This is not an normal adaptation for this world, but with you as my mate, my lover, and my partner, I think it is okay.”  
  
Jaejoong’s head was swimming, but he managed to ask, “What adaptation?”  
  
The head of Yunho’s dick slid down his cleft, once twice, and then a third time. Jaejoong expected the spit to have dried, but instead, his cleft grew slick with lube and his skin even more sensitive.  
  
“Fuck,” Jaejoong said and turned his head. “Did you make your dick self-lubricating?”  
  
“Yes. It seemed a reasonable adaptation for as often as I knew I was going to mate with you. Do you like it?” The head pressed into his body, sliding in a few inches before going back out. It did not hurt, not more than just the ache of before. It was nice and slick, and Yunho pressed into him shallowly again before pulling back out.  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “Yes. Good ... good ... adaptation.”  
  
Yunho smirked at him and thrust into him again, hips moving to a steady rhythm. “Oh, look at that. I lose the contest.”  
  
Jaejoong laughed, the noise stopping half in his throat as Yunho thrust forward, all the way, burying himself deep. He fell to the table, the top cold against his chest and cheek. His legs spread for balance as Yunho fucked into him, slow and deep.  
  
“God, that ... fuck ... so good. Fine ... good ... lube. I like that idea.”  
  
“Me, too. Now I do not have to wait to have you.”  
  
Jaejoong moaned. “Just don’t make your dick vibrate,” he said, rolling his hips to feel Yunho’s cock as deep into as he could. “That’s a bit too weird.”  
  
“Do not worry, my beautiful,” Yunho said. “I learned all about sex toys and bondage while watching pornography. There were many interesting positions and results that I would like to duplicate if you’re interested.”  
  
Jaejoong whimpered. Once again, and with more enthusiasm, Jaejoong thought, _I am so fucked._


End file.
